turbomightbegone
🎣
- Nov 13, 2023
- 194
what's the fucking point of trying to take care of myself when I know I can't
holy shit i fucking hate being here, i fucking hate living with my family, but I know deep down that I wouldn't be able to do shit without them, and it fucking hurts
I hate how I can't fucking do anything. I hate how I struggle on the most simplest things. holy fuck I hate autism so much holy fucking shit kys, idm people making fun of me having it but holy fuck i hate how it ruins my life
I struggle brushing my hair, I struggle overcoming my paranoia while fucking showering, I struggle to sleep or eat, i struggle talking to anyone outside my fucking room,, both my mental and physical health is fucking shattered and holy fucking shit i just want the motivation to pull myself together and fix it
everything I fucking do feels wrong, every time I mess up on my something i fucking rage abt it and start age regressing and i always break down i feel so fucking stupid
why cant I just die in my fucking sleep or some shit idk,, I cant even have the courage to fucking jump off some high place or smth,, yet my existence is fuckinh useless I'm just rotting here
every time I try forcing myself to go out and actually try to feel good abt myself for once everyone fucking yells at me I hate them yelling at m
why cant people see that I'm genuinely fucking trying to pull myself out of this depressive pit I'm in,, I'm not even trying to be lazy I'm just genuinely exhausted and need rest I need people to stop yelling at m
I'm so tired I can't even try to comb my hair or brush my teeth anymore,, there's spots and scabs over my face and my hair falls down in knots
I'm going to be like this for the rest of my fucking life, always needing help from my toxic fucking family that won't stfu about me not being able to draw anymore. and I'll never be able to pull myself out of it
I don't even think I want to try being better atp. I just want to sleep. I want to sleep and fucking die while I do so
maybe I will,, maybe I will die in my sleep. I feel so weak nowadays I can't even stand for too long,, I always feel so dizzy now
im slowly fucking dying
holy shit i fucking hate being here, i fucking hate living with my family, but I know deep down that I wouldn't be able to do shit without them, and it fucking hurts
I hate how I can't fucking do anything. I hate how I struggle on the most simplest things. holy fuck I hate autism so much holy fucking shit kys, idm people making fun of me having it but holy fuck i hate how it ruins my life
I struggle brushing my hair, I struggle overcoming my paranoia while fucking showering, I struggle to sleep or eat, i struggle talking to anyone outside my fucking room,, both my mental and physical health is fucking shattered and holy fucking shit i just want the motivation to pull myself together and fix it
everything I fucking do feels wrong, every time I mess up on my something i fucking rage abt it and start age regressing and i always break down i feel so fucking stupid
why cant I just die in my fucking sleep or some shit idk,, I cant even have the courage to fucking jump off some high place or smth,, yet my existence is fuckinh useless I'm just rotting here
every time I try forcing myself to go out and actually try to feel good abt myself for once everyone fucking yells at me I hate them yelling at m
why cant people see that I'm genuinely fucking trying to pull myself out of this depressive pit I'm in,, I'm not even trying to be lazy I'm just genuinely exhausted and need rest I need people to stop yelling at m
I'm so tired I can't even try to comb my hair or brush my teeth anymore,, there's spots and scabs over my face and my hair falls down in knots
I'm going to be like this for the rest of my fucking life, always needing help from my toxic fucking family that won't stfu about me not being able to draw anymore. and I'll never be able to pull myself out of it
I don't even think I want to try being better atp. I just want to sleep. I want to sleep and fucking die while I do so
maybe I will,, maybe I will die in my sleep. I feel so weak nowadays I can't even stand for too long,, I always feel so dizzy now
im slowly fucking dying
