I have a lot of problems. way too many. there's no way that I could ever live like a normal person with all these issues combined. I've quit my job because it was driving me insane, I've lost most of my money, I'm 27 and still single and can't ever get married, I live with my parents and I'll never be able to be independent and I'm weak physically and mentally.
I feel like that my situation is even worse than a person with a terminal illness such as cancer or someone with a severe physical disability. at least they get recognized as vulnerable by the society and they're offered help. But for me, even though I look like a normal person from outside but I'm a total misfit and incapable person both physically and mentally.
I was forced by my parents to apply for a job that I hated, this wasted 10 years of my life and in the end I couldn't buy a house, car or anything else. I made zero progress since the last decade. I still live with my parents and they're poor and rely on other people's charity to even provide our food.
Now I can't do anything else because every job I ever look for is either physically or mentally non suitable for me. I've tried everything and failed. I have way too many issues to do anything. I'll just end up dying in the corner of some street with thirst, hunger, hypothermia and worms running on my body if I don't end my life sooner peacefully. I'm certain about this.
By the way here is a list of some of my issues:
Important and life limiting issues:
-Anxiety (resistant to medicine)
-Depression (resistant to medicine)
-Constant weakness and fatigue in body (unable to commit to sustained physical work)
-high sensitivity to temperature changes (going outside of the house in winter day feels like torture and greatly reduces my efficiency, being in a hot or humid place also feels like torture and greatly limits my physical and cognitive ability)
-thermal dysregulation and contradictions in the body (feeling hot at one section of the body while feeling cold in another section. can't wear thick clothing in winter even while feeling cold as such clothes would cause discomfort and excess heat in areas such as armpits. I'd need to wear thin clothes while the heater is on or I'm under blanket)
-poor motor skills and muscle memory (unable to learn certain motor skills. For example carrying a dish full of glasses as I lack the balance to carry them without dropping or pouring them down, riding a bicycle, climbing a tall ladder)
-ocassional shortness of breath (can occur anytime and anywhere suddenly)
Less important and secondary issues
-Feet disorientation outwards (duck feet)
-abnormal chest size (the width of chest particularly in the stomach region is lower than normal)
-Color blindness (confusing certain shades of green with red, confusing blue and purple, confusing dark green with light brown)
my body, mind, social skills, economic situation, family condition and the country I live in are all horrible. There's no cure for any of these either and even if there was I couldn't afford it. I'm not suitable for living. my birth was a mistake and I simply want to end this mistake. No one deserves to suffer like this.
I feel like that my situation is even worse than a person with a terminal illness such as cancer or someone with a severe physical disability. at least they get recognized as vulnerable by the society and they're offered help. But for me, even though I look like a normal person from outside but I'm a total misfit and incapable person both physically and mentally.
I was forced by my parents to apply for a job that I hated, this wasted 10 years of my life and in the end I couldn't buy a house, car or anything else. I made zero progress since the last decade. I still live with my parents and they're poor and rely on other people's charity to even provide our food.
Now I can't do anything else because every job I ever look for is either physically or mentally non suitable for me. I've tried everything and failed. I have way too many issues to do anything. I'll just end up dying in the corner of some street with thirst, hunger, hypothermia and worms running on my body if I don't end my life sooner peacefully. I'm certain about this.
By the way here is a list of some of my issues:
Important and life limiting issues:
-Anxiety (resistant to medicine)
-Depression (resistant to medicine)
-Constant weakness and fatigue in body (unable to commit to sustained physical work)
-high sensitivity to temperature changes (going outside of the house in winter day feels like torture and greatly reduces my efficiency, being in a hot or humid place also feels like torture and greatly limits my physical and cognitive ability)
-thermal dysregulation and contradictions in the body (feeling hot at one section of the body while feeling cold in another section. can't wear thick clothing in winter even while feeling cold as such clothes would cause discomfort and excess heat in areas such as armpits. I'd need to wear thin clothes while the heater is on or I'm under blanket)
-poor motor skills and muscle memory (unable to learn certain motor skills. For example carrying a dish full of glasses as I lack the balance to carry them without dropping or pouring them down, riding a bicycle, climbing a tall ladder)
-ocassional shortness of breath (can occur anytime and anywhere suddenly)
Less important and secondary issues
-Feet disorientation outwards (duck feet)
-abnormal chest size (the width of chest particularly in the stomach region is lower than normal)
-Color blindness (confusing certain shades of green with red, confusing blue and purple, confusing dark green with light brown)
my body, mind, social skills, economic situation, family condition and the country I live in are all horrible. There's no cure for any of these either and even if there was I couldn't afford it. I'm not suitable for living. my birth was a mistake and I simply want to end this mistake. No one deserves to suffer like this.
