Venting I'm trying so hard to live and stop having SI, but my chronic pain is droving me to search for suicidal methods again!!

[thunder_rayne]

I just want to keep crying and vent! This back pain is driving me fking insane! I just want to walk in the hospital and beg to be put in a coma for a few weeks to give me a break from this terrible pain!!! I swear if I had Nembutal, I would take in without giving it a second thought!

How am I suppose to live?? I have no quality of life! I took so much medicine to make me fall asleep that I will waste a whole day! My only wish for today is to sleep the whole day so I won't be forced to live in pain!! I'm so tired of this..Hopefully I will die soon..I hope there isn't a such thing as reincarnation because I never want to come back to this hell..

 

[tooafraidtodiez]

I feel you man, also dealing with physical pain. Hopefully you can feel better soon

 

[peacebenow]

I get it.

 

[urgent]

I just want to keep crying and vent! This back pain is driving me fking insane! I just want to walk in the hospital and beg to be put in a coma for a few weeks to give me a break from this terrible pain!!! I swear if I had Nembutal, I would take in without giving it a second thought!

How am I suppose to live?? I have no quality of life! I took so much medicine to make me fall asleep that I will waste a whole day! My only wish for today is to sleep the whole day so I won't be forced to live in pain!! I'm so tired of this..Hopefully I will die soon..I hope there isn't a such thing as reincarnation because I never want to come back to this hell..

I feel the same way but I'm very ill and in pain literally everywhere it's so brutal and doesn't stop everything is painful for me now can't eat, drink, sleep had another really bad fall I'm suffering too and with no quality of life I'm begging for mercy I wish someone could understand you shouldn't feel guilty I would be so grateful I shouldn't have to live this way I could get medical aid in dying and end the pain with a celebration if I lived in another country or state I can't travel or afford Switzerland I wish a doctor veterinarian someone with access to fent or something would just do this

 

[DoomsdayCTB]

could've written this myself. I probably shouldn't take an extra 2 muscle relaxers, but the 2 I took a few hours ago did NOTHING.

 

[thunder_rayne]

I feel the same way but I'm very ill and in pain literally everywhere it's so brutal and doesn't stop everything is painful for me now can't eat, drink, sleep had another really bad fall I'm suffering too and with no quality of life I'm begging for mercy I wish someone could understand you shouldn't feel guilty I would be so grateful I shouldn't have to live this way I could get medical aid in dying and end the pain with a celebration if I lived in another country or state I can't travel or afford Switzerland I wish a doctor veterinarian someone with access to fent or something would just do this

I'm so sorry you have to continue living like this, it's so unfair! I looked up those assisted suicide sites and the requirements are basically you have to be terminal and all these qualifications that nobody will ever meet in America Hopefully, our buses will be here soon and the pain can finally stop! Nobody should be forced to live like this!

could've written this myself. I probably shouldn't take an extra 2 muscle relaxers, but the 2 I took a few hours ago did NOTHING.

I would think 2 would make you fall asleep?? I take over the counter extra doses of sleeping pills when the pain is unbearable. Hopefully you are feeling a little better now and was able to fall asleep.
Thanks for the replies I woke up at 1am and the pain is gone. I showered and ate dinner and back to bed. I plan to take it easy today and do minimal effort things such as crafts and watch movies in bed. I purchased a TENS unit from Amazon which arrived today. I hope everyone's today will be better than yesterday's