I'm still here unfortunately

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

Hi everyone.

I took a break from the site but i'm back again.
Unfortunately I am still here. I can't even kill myself properly. I'm pathetic at everything. I didn't even manage to hurt myself enough to go to hospital.

I have a few things coming up such as writing a book, I got offered a job (different to a normal job as it's just do a piece of work when required) and a surgery that I have been waiting for, however I just just don't care anymore. I've had enough of waking up everyday and wanting the day to finish already.

I know I am only 19 but I've gone through a lot of trauma in my life and having my best friend kill themself just pushed me beyond my limit.
The only way I numb the pain is through drugs, drinking and self harm.

Just had enough of being here but I fail at everything.

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

Hey man you're only 19, someone told me today that we can only see so far of our whole life times. Just cause this period sucks doesn't mean it always will, I can relate because when I was 14 someone I knew and would like to call a friend commited suicide and it really fucked me up. Sending you good energy

 

[issyishere]

hey man im a bit older than you (21) but i feel exactly what you mean. Just wanted to remind you, you're not alone.

 

[Empty Smile]

You're young, and life will have it's ups and downs. I'll be 50 at the end of the month, and I've been on a roller coaster.

For some, it gets better... for some it gets worse... and for some(like me), you're caught in the middle of the storm with no end in sight. It's like the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how much you keep walking toward it, it keeps getting further away.

Hoping for better days for you.