Venting I’m so on edge at every minor inconvenience

[YISDISBAD]

My dad shouted at me really badly rn. Over something small.
For reference. My dad is an extremely intimidating person. Someone who nobody really takes lightly. Even his person (Like himself physically) is intimidating.
He has this massive scar on the corner of his that comes down to mid forehead due to a car accident that almost killed him.
And all my friends who met him for the first time pissed their pants.

Useless info out the way.
Now
He shouted at me really badly. Like I haven't been shouted at by him like this in years. Over something so small.
And it literally triggered me to come on today and look around for methods.
Man I just wish I could. But I can't.
I don't hate him. I just wish he wasn't like this.
I basically grew up without a dad in a way.
It's why I'm the way I am. I wouldn't change myself for anyone tho.
I don't think anyone should.

But yea
Fuck I wish I wasn't alive.
I'm literally 20 years old in 2 weeks.

Does anyone else have similar situations. No matter how old. I still live by my parents for free rent
Because rent is very expensive nowadays

 

[Captain laser]

all the times i've pursued suicide were due to things they have said to me/yelled at me, so that makes two of us.

 

[YISDISBAD]

all the times i've pursued suicide were due to things they have said to me/yelled at me, so that makes two of us.

It's so weird.
Because it's little things too at times. Like even minor inconveniences which cause it

 

[pinapellicer]

My dad is an aggresive person with anger issues, so he yells at us a lot. I try to minimize contact with him and only cross words with him only when absolutely necessary, and in those few times his demeanor and response is always horrible. I shink a lot around him. It sucks having to share a space with him.

 

[YISDISBAD]

My dad is an aggresive person with anger issues, so he yells at us a lot. I try to minimize contact with him and only cross words with him only when absolutely necessary, and in those few times his demeanor and response is always horrible. I shink a lot around him. It sucks having to share a space with him.

I can't wait to give my children the opposite of what he gave me.
I have the same experience. Avoiding him. When I hear his car come home I literally just run away to my room.
He always speaks about his grandfather being so abusive and that we're lucky he doesn't hit us like him and his siblings were hit.
But it's still not a nice environment that the man who's supposed to protect you and love you makes you feel unloved.

I'm here if you want to speak my friend

 

[AuraByte]

My dad was a physically and emotionally abusive piece of shit growing up.

He only stopped once I got old enough and big enough to fight back and when he realized I wasn't afraid of him anymore.

I may have also threatened to kill him in his sleep lol.

 

[letsnotmakeittoo22]

.

My dad shouted at me really badly rn. Over something small.
For reference. My dad is an extremely intimidating person. Someone who nobody really takes lightly. Even his person (Like himself physically) is intimidating.
He has this massive scar on the corner of his that comes down to mid forehead due to a car accident that almost killed him.
And all my friends who met him for the first time pissed their pants.

Useless info out the way.
Now
He shouted at me really badly. Like I haven't been shouted at by him like this in years. Over something so small.
And it literally triggered me to come on today and look around for methods.
Man I just wish I could. But I can't.
I don't hate him. I just wish he wasn't like this.
I basically grew up without a dad in a way.
It's why I'm the way I am. I wouldn't change myself for anyone tho.
I don't think anyone should.

But yea
Fuck I wish I wasn't alive.
I'm literally 20 years old in 2 weeks.

Does anyone else have similar situations. No matter how old. I still live by my parents for free rent
Because rent is very expensive nowadays

same, I wish I wasn't so sensitive. My first attempt was at 7 so the ideation have been there for like forever, i get pushed over the edge by the smallest things.

 

[YISDISBAD]

My dad was a physically and emotionally abusive piece of shit growing up.

He only stopped once I got old enough and big enough to fight back and when he realized I wasn't afraid of him anymore.

I may have also threatened to kill him in his sleep lol.

lol
But yea. At least he stopped. But the bruises are there forever

 

[difficvltmachineryy]

My sensitivity is also one of the things making me wanna ctb. My dad also is a brute to me in many ways, he used to be much worse, but those times when he was worse still haunt me