I have had 2 attempts and at least once every week or so the suicide thoughts REALLY come into play. When that happens, I try my hardest to take few minutes off from work, close my eyes, deep slow breaths and look on SaSu, at all the loving and caring souls and in that instant, I know that I am NOT alone and that I have the BEST support global family that anyone could ever want period.
Same as with you, here, as I consider you a good friend and a family member as I have no family nor friends except everyone here and I hope in some small way that I can help you also.
You are NEVER EVER alone, and I send you lots of HUGE hugs, love and well wishes.
I am in the same boat, and we can pull together and help one another out my awesome friend.
Walter