Venting Im so fucking lonely

[MiMif]

Honestly in highschool i didn't really have friends and was a loner but didnt mind. However recently I finnaly broke off from my toxic family and in simple terms "ranaway". I left on a whim and went to a place i knew no one and no one knew me and got a job. And wow its lonely.

I thought maybe moving from my toxic family would make me less suicidal but honestly its just made me realize how hopeless everything is. I wouldnt be so lonely if I didnt have to go out to work and see people. I would much like it if I could lock myself inside.
Im autistic and my coworkers keep mentioning how quiet I am. I want a partner so bad. A friend a lover honestly anyone. Yes boys ask me out but I know once they get to know me they Def wouldnt be interested so I reject them.

I feel like an alien everywhere I go I feel as If I dont belong anywhere. And each day it feels as though I will truly never be happy. Genuinely there has never been a time In my life where ive been happy and its so hopeless. Only thing keeping me alive is my dream of reeqing havoc on society and getting assassinated. But lowkey even that dream doesnt seem worth it.

How do I stop being so lonely anf alienated. I've reread dazai osamus no longer human recently anf have never related to it more. I talk to no one but myself.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

Sometimes I come across videos on youtube where people talk about how they have no friends and are lonely. I relate to most of them and I really wish they could all be saved from the misery of being trapped in a world one doesn't belong in. It brings me to tears to watch them sometimes but I also selfishly enjoy them since they dampen the sense of missing out on the happiness that normal people get to experience.

I have no irl friends and the more I think about the few I had in the past and the people I was around when I left the house regularly, the more I feel that humans are generally garbage and should all just be peacefully terminated. Including me, of course.

 

[MiMif]

Sometimes I come across videos on youtube where people talk about how they have no friends and are lonely. I relate to most of them and I really wish they could all be saved from the misery of being trapped in a world one doesn't belong in. It brings me to tears to watch them sometimes but I also selfishly enjoy them since they dampen the sense of missing out on the happiness that normal people get to experience.

I have no irl friends and the more I think about the few I had in the past and the people I was around when I left the house regularly, the more I feel that humans are generally garbage and should all just be peacefully terminated. Including me, of course.

Real

 

[Unlucky777]

I feel you. I'm very lonely also except I'm surrounded by my family and I have my friends around. It's one of the worst feelings I've ever felt.

I just feel extremely disconnected from myself and from everyone else. No matter if I'm around people or not I feel terribly lonely. Actually I feel LESS lonely when I'm by myself. Fucking strange but true

 

[Ekim]

It just feels like we're living quite the same life I also have been a loner since childhood in high school because of bullying no one used to talk with me and now I lost my only solely online friend so now am so lonely and need help too but at the same time going out making friends and socializing is not what I want to do