NSFW im not ready to die but i have no option

[what]

i have royally fucked up. by skipping college and my parents still have no idea they think im still going there when in reality i just park somewhere quiet and empty whenever i have a lesson on the schedule

theyre paying a shit ton of money for this its only been the first semester and ive already fucked up i skipped the whole second half of the semester and im upset because i was doing so well and i was absolutely acing all my tests and coursework and people liked me

we've always been struggling financially so paying for this college was a huge deal to them and ive always academically failed in the past (failed HS too idk how i made it to college) and i am 101% they wont take it this time they'll be furious

the college ends in about a week or so and time is getting tight i already have my SN and everything except for the will to die

what the fuck do i do

 

[ilovenewyork]

You're panicking. Yes your parents will be upset but you have a long life to make things right. Maybe you'll get a side job and start over in a year. People live like 80 years on average so you can just try again. As far as SN, that's not going to fix anything or cheer your parents up. Maybe throw that away

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I did that one semester, too. Shit happens. Your parents won't be thrilled, but they'll get over it & so will you. This too shall pass. A few years from now you'll look back & realize it was nothing worth ending your life over.

 

[Gabriel1987]

Studies aren't for everyone. If you commit suicide, you'll hurt them even more, and it will be irreversible. You have your whole life ahead of you to make them proud. Be strong; I hope everything works out for you.

 

[what]

i dont know man this was my last ever chance to redeem myself and i have miserably failed no amount of talking can fix anything anymore infact i think they're better off (in the long run) losing me because i'll just keep disappointing everybody

 

[WakingNightmare]

If you dont feel ready to die then you shouldn't CTB simple as. If your parents like you they will probably be more upset if you are dead than if you failed a semester. Also you can always drop out and get a job to repay them

 

[ilovenewyork]

Losing a child is about the worst experience a human can endure. You won't be doing them any favors checking out.

 

[Gabriel1987]

Do you really think you're parents who would rather you be dead? I think they'd rather you keep disappointing them 1 million times. You all have a life to make up for it, you can repay them later for your failed studies. You haven't done anything irreversible and unforgivable yet