Welcome here,
CTBing on impulse is a bad idea — even when everything seems impossible to bear anymore, so you should wait until you're able to do what you want to do safely.
totally agree with this, a majority of people who attempt are making a regretful impulse. They let one version of themselves take complete control of the others, and for some people, it's just not right, no matter how doomed they feel.
Please, if there's a semblance of a chance you won't attempt, always try what you can in respect to professional help, counseling, independent behavioral practices, diets, art therapies, meditating, etc. I've found all of these to be an immense help in taking my pain from a 10 to a 7. Also medication, but with how psychiatrists just hand them out to anybody with depression, it might be nice to be in a slightly more stable place prior.
Sorry you are here and welcome.