I’m just so over it

[kenz]

Genuinely, I'm so tired. I pray to God that he'll kill me. That he'll let me go. I don't believe in God though, which is probably why I'm alive to write this. I just have no interest or motivation or purpose in any outlet. I'm bored and sad of being alive. Life feels like a constant battle of survival for a brief hope of a glimpse of purpose. I'm confused and exhausted and just ready to die. I'm ready to die. I don't want to make it to 20. 19 is good enough for me. My birthday is in a few weeks, I hope that I can just be tagged out. Told to sit on the bench if you will. I hope I get into a car accident or my plane crashes or I have an aneurism. I feel bad for my sisters and boyfriend and parents. But I feel worse for me. It is my time.

 

[aaron4967]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. Sending you love and support

 

[ineedtogetout]

God doesnt exist

 

[FuneralCry]

I just wish to be gone as well, all I want is to be free from this futile, torturous existence, I hope you find peace.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry you are struggling so much. A family member of mine believed deeply in God. A very devout Christian. As they grew older, they suffered with more and more ailments daily. They would literally shout out loud: 'God, please kill me!' God didn't bother. They suffered for years like that. So- I doubt it matters whether you believe or not- sadly.

It actually puzzles me why people imagine God will help them though. If they sat back and let their own child be nailed to a cross, why would they lift a finger to help anyone else? Surely- they could have worked out a way to persuade humans of their immortality without Jesus having to go through all that.