Venting I'm gonna hang myself and I need to make sure I'm doing the right thing

[GUZMA]

Hey so for the past few months I've really been trying to work on myself since my last posts here but nothing has changed so I'm back again, I know this is what I want but I don't know if I should feel bad about it

Am I going to be hurting people by this? I don't think I'm close enough with anyone to end up destroying their life by it, I just broke up with my boyfriend and the only people I'm really friends with are online so they'd probably just assume I disappeared so I'm pretty sure it should be okay, I just need someone's thoughts on this.

Going to try hanging again, I would love to just end it with a gun but alas I live in aus and couldn't get a job related to guns because of my mental health. Any tips would be appreciated.

I don't have much I'd leave behind, I don't have much that depends on me, most projects I was a part of have moved on without me and my personal stuff never really got much attention so nothing to worry about there.

I feel bad because I am an artist and I will be leaving my characters behind, I always told myself I'd give them to someone before I died but the people I've asked about that aren't in my life anymore. I feel like I'm almost ending my life with them and honestly that's the thing that breaks my heart the most about this, that's what upsets me the most because I know their stories will be forgotten, but it's not the end of the world, my priorities have to come first and I don't think I can be here anymore.

I just need someone to say that I'm not making a mistake here I guess.

Thank you for reading this far

 

[nooseknot]

Hiya-right off the bat I would never encourage or abet someone else's suicide but am trying to reply the best I can since I have been there for quite a while.Just like you I was so focused on partial hanging and almost stubbornly kept attempting,caught in an almost endless seeming circle of attempting and failing...long story short:trial and error taught me that partial hanging is one of the most insecure and unsafest methods at all!It's my guess this method became sort of fashionable since quite a few celebs successfully managed to CTB this way,but honestly...FSH being the ancient,good old gold standard works much better in terms of an extremely high success rate! Since I studied and did my own test runs with FSH I totally discarded partial.FSH is sooooo lethal- so it is just perfect for the really determined ones

 

[GUZMA]

Hiya-right off the bat I would never encourage or abet someone else's suicide but am trying to reply the best I can since I have been there for quite a while.Just like you I was so focused on partial hanging and almost stubbornly kept attempting,caught in an almost endless seeming circle of attempting and failing...long story short:trial and error taught me that partial hanging is one of the most insecure and unsafest methods at all!It's my guess this method became sort of fashionable since quite a few celebs successfully managed to CTB this way,but honestly...FSH being the ancient,good old gold standard works much better in terms of an extremely high success rate! Since I studied and did my own test runs with FSH I totally discarded partial.FSH is sooooo lethal- so it is just perfect for the really determined ones

Huge bummer that I don't actually have any places I'd be able to do that, I'd love to die in my room listening to music I like n such and there definitely isn't a spot for that here, thank you though I appreciate the advice, do you think anything else might work better?

 

[jewelxxet]

I agree with nooseknot's post about FSH being better than partial.
Another thing to keep in mind: the rope has to be atleast 12mm thick.
This ensures you will pass out within 5-15 seconds, leading to an ultimately more comfortable death.
All the best.

Huge bummer that I don't actually have any places I'd be able to do that, I'd love to die in my room listening to music I like n such and there definitely isn't a spot for that here, thank you though I appreciate the advice, do you think anything else might work better?

You could try the sodium nitrite method but you'll have to fast for atleast 12 hours

 

[nooseknot]

Huge bummer that I don't actually have any places I'd be able to do that, I'd love to die in my room listening to music I like n such and there definitely isn't a spot for that here, thank you though I appreciate the advice, do you think anything else might work better?

have you ever wondered why your partial attempts failed?Such an analysis might help you improve your technique

 

[GUZMA]

have you ever wondered why your partial attempts failed?Such an analysis might help you improve your technique

Usually just the head throbbing and feeling like I was gonna explode made me stop, I struggle to find my pulse in my neck (I'm not overweight I'm not sure why this is the case) and I haven't ever managed to pass out on my own command

I agree with nooseknot's post about FSH being better than partial.
Another thing to keep in mind: the rope has to be atleast 12mm thick.
This ensures you will pass out within 5-15 seconds, leading to an ultimately more comfortable death.
All the best.


You could try the sodium nitrite method but you'll have to fast for atleast 12 hours

I have no idea where I'd even get sodium nitrate, I'm more looking to attempt with household items, thank for the rope advice though! Does a belt work?

 

[nooseknot]

Usually just the head throbbing and feeling like I was gonna explode made me stop, I struggle to find my pulse in my neck (I'm not overweight I'm not sure why this is the case) and I haven't ever managed to pass out on my own command

I have no idea where I'd even get sodium nitrate, I'm more looking to attempt with household items, thank for the rope advice though! Does a belt work?

this is a 100% proof that you never hit your sweet spot but instead constricted your jugulars instead which exactly leads to this outcome...

 

[GUZMA]

this is a 100% proof that you never hit your sweet spot but instead constricted your jugulars instead which exactly leads to this outcome...

How does one actually manage to find the sweet spot? I've never been able to!

 

[nooseknot]

How does one actually manage to find the sweet spot? I've never been able to!

my suggestion: enter the term "sweet spot" into the SaSU search engine and you will find tons of results

my suggestion: enter the term "sweet spot" into the SaSU search engine and you will find tons of results

without hitting the sweet spot partial will be so painful that SI automatically kicks in

 

[dddaaangxl]

honestly, i feel the same way about my characters. before now i wanted to make a game with all my characters and had that to keep me going, but i don't think it's worth suffering and barely surviving for the next few years just to make a game that people might not even like idk

 

[GUZMA]

honestly, i feel the same way about my characters. before now i wanted to make a game with all my characters and had that to keep me going, but i don't think it's worth suffering and barely surviving for the next few years just to make a game that people might not even like idk

Absolutely get this omg, it's a funny thing though, no matter how unknown the media or how bad it is there will always be fans

 

[timechained]

FSH hurts. Choking on your tongue is not a pleasant feeling either. I assume most people who say it easier haven't actually tried practicing it.

I know how frustrating it is to not pass out after also having tried partial in various ways and with different materials.

You sound like you still have some hope for life and you sound talented, maybe you could use that as part of your ongoing recovery...

 

[GUZMA]

FSH hurts. Choking on your tongue is not a pleasant feeling either. I assume most people who say it easier haven't actually tried practicing it.

I know how frustrating it is to not pass out after also having tried partial in various ways and with different materials.

You sound like you still have some hope for life and you sound talented, maybe you could use that as part of your ongoing recovery...

I'm not sure about the hope thing, every day I continue to log into this site it's probably for a reason but thank you. Maybe one day I'll try healing properly if I don't kick the bucket b4 then lolz

 

[princeseadove]

Hey so for the past few months I've really been trying to work on myself since my last posts here but nothing has changed so I'm back again, I know this is what I want but I don't know if I should feel bad about it

Am I going to be hurting people by this? I don't think I'm close enough with anyone to end up destroying their life by it, I just broke up with my boyfriend and the only people I'm really friends with are online so they'd probably just assume I disappeared so I'm pretty sure it should be okay, I just need someone's thoughts on this.

Going to try hanging again, I would love to just end it with a gun but alas I live in aus and couldn't get a job related to guns because of my mental health. Any tips would be appreciated.

I don't have much I'd leave behind, I don't have much that depends on me, most projects I was a part of have moved on without me and my personal stuff never really got much attention so nothing to worry about there.

I feel bad because I am an artist and I will be leaving my characters behind, I always told myself I'd give them to someone before I died but the people I've asked about that aren't in my life anymore. I feel like I'm almost ending my life with them and honestly that's the thing that breaks my heart the most about this, that's what upsets me the most because I know their stories will be forgotten, but it's not the end of the world, my priorities have to come first and I don't think I can be here anymore.

I just need someone to say that I'm not making a mistake here I guess.

Thank you for reading this far

I completely understand you, especially on the bit of leaving behind your characters. It's something I have been debating about as well, whether to give them away or not. I think at some point they were deeply beloved, by me, and others. They were the reason why I kept on for so long, but it's not enough I fear. Having to rely on social media for friends, or just whatever, it's hard. It's difficult to live like this. Recovery is always, always possible, but sometimes it's not enough. I hope you find yi peace oje way or the other, I'm sorry this is all happening. You can check for methods on the pinned!

 

[DoomCry]

Your passing will surely have a devastating impact. We are all connected to each other, it is inevitable.

 

[bankai]

It's an extremely personal decision. A choice that only you can make. That being said, if you feel ready. Come up with a plan. We're here to discuss the specifics with you. You might find years passing by then.

 

[GUZMA]

I completely understand you, especially on the bit of leaving behind your characters. It's something I have been debating about as well, whether to give them away or not. I think at some point they were deeply beloved, by me, and others. They were the reason why I kept on for so long, but it's not enough I fear. Having to rely on social media for friends, or just whatever, it's hard. It's difficult to live like this. Recovery is always, always possible, but sometimes it's not enough. I hope you find yi peace oje way or the other, I'm sorry this is all happening. You can check for methods on the pinned!

The character struggle will always be real, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has this issue :)

It's an extremely personal decision. A choice that only you can make. That being said, if you feel ready. Come up with a plan. We're here to discuss the specifics with you. You might find years passing by then.

Billions of plans have been tried by now by me, ended up in the ward and hospital bcuz of it but I'll find a way one day, hopefully by gun that's my ideal method lolz

Your passing will surely have a devastating impact. We are all connected to each other, it is inevitable.

While I'm sure it will the crying will die down, people will move on, it's not something that I'm close enough with anyone to haunt them with.