I wish you peace if you go, but perhaps it is good to delay your journey a little longer, and appreciate this feeling of control. You could go now, or later, you are not bound to life and suffering now that you have an escape. I have often found myself feeling liberated at the thought of being able to leave just the next day. It reminds me of the famous "what would you do if you had one day left to live?" question.
I am plagued by social anxiety among other conditions, and to realise that tomorrow there will be no more me to be judged makes any possible judgement of today meaningless. To truly stand at the brink can give you a unique look at life.
If you do choose to stay, and perhaps even find liberation from suffering in this life, feel free to chat me up!
I appreciate all of you and wish an end to your suffering. Please be careful.