
alstroemeria55
New Member
- Sep 4, 2025
- 2
I live in the middle of a war. I have past and ongoing trauma that no matter what methods I've used just don't get better. It makes me a burden that is impossible to love. The one person I ever had a deep connection with left me without saying anything. I feel hopeless that things will ever get better, the world just seems to get worse and the daily mantra that repeats in my head is how much I don't want to live. Every second I spend awake or struggling to fall asleep is hell. I've SHed increasingly just to get the pain from my soul and out to my body. I am angry with God for allowing me to suffer alone. I don't feel joy or true enjoyment from anything anymore, all I do is a feeble attempt at distraction.
I'm trying to find the most accessible way for me to CTB.
Currently my options are either:
1) Clonazepam+Codeine+Alcohol concoction and go to sleep:
Is crushing the pills and mixing them into alcohol better than mixing them into water and then drinking the alcohol? How does the percentage of the alcohol affect this process?
I've been so devastated that I've been unable to eat for several days. Does doing this on an empty stomach increase the chance of success?
2) SWB in bathtub: How to effectively black out and not struggle with the pain of drowning or the likelihood of failure?
Any relevant feedback/recommendation would be appreciated.
I'm trying to find the most accessible way for me to CTB.
Currently my options are either:
1) Clonazepam+Codeine+Alcohol concoction and go to sleep:
Is crushing the pills and mixing them into alcohol better than mixing them into water and then drinking the alcohol? How does the percentage of the alcohol affect this process?
I've been so devastated that I've been unable to eat for several days. Does doing this on an empty stomach increase the chance of success?
2) SWB in bathtub: How to effectively black out and not struggle with the pain of drowning or the likelihood of failure?
Any relevant feedback/recommendation would be appreciated.