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ender boy

ender boy

what is wrong with me...
May 21, 2024
8
i spend every night scrolling through here to find a method because at this point i think i am a faulty human.
I cannot feel joy anymore i can't be happy, not for others, not for myself. I either feel nothing or pain so extreme i sob all night until my voice goes away and my eyes get puffy.
I refuse to talk to my friends or build new connections, i don't leave my house, i work from home, i spend every single day in my room. I'm not part of this world. It doesn't need me.
I keep getting my hopes up for finding a method that can work and is painless but the further i research and scroll the more i learn that it's just another method impossible to do for me.
I have nothing or nobody to live for. Please free me. Please god give me any carastrophy to let go of me.
Cancer and heart problems are hereditary in my family and i try to manifest them both but nothing ends me.
Please let me go. I can't drag this corpse of mine around any longer.
 
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