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Throwmyselfaway

Throwmyselfaway

Not gone yet but soon
Jan 14, 2020
797
So earlier this year I was on this site 24/7. Chatted with a few people. Read threads but things started getting better. However the last month or so all I can think about is ctb. I had tossed my SN. But I can get it again. I still have a gun and thought about it so many times. Just not snap choices like I need to plan. Right now the bad heavily out weighs the good. I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel to make things better. We are practically homeless right now. We are so broke it's not funny. I try to bust my ass every day to make more money but it just goes out the door. To make matters worse when my ptsd is triggered i have been remembering more and more. And it's not good. My insurance policy has been in place long enough that my wife would get the benefits of it. I just... sigh... I don't know how long I can go on at this point. Sorry for the vent but when I was here before it really helped to talk to others and to vent in a place where everyone else understands.
 
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fat feet

Throw away.
Sep 1, 2020
189
So earlier this year I was on this site 24/7. Chatted with a few people. Read threads but things started getting better. However the last month or so all I can think about is ctb. I had tossed my SN. But I can get it again. I still have a gun and thought about it so many times. Just not snap choices like I need to plan. Right now the bad heavily out weighs the good. I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel to make things better. We are practically homeless right now. We are so broke it's not funny. I try to bust my ass every day to make more money but it just goes out the door. To make matters worse when my ptsd is triggered i have been remembering more and more. And it's not good. My insurance policy has been in place long enough that my wife would get the benefits of it. I just... sigh... I don't know how long I can go on at this point. Sorry for the vent but when I was here before it really helped to talk to others and to vent in a place where everyone else understands.
Perhaps being back on the site you can help you vent and find your peace again. I wish you the best moving forward.
It seems like I am now here quite often, if you need to talk.
 
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Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

He/him - Metal head
Feb 22, 2020
1,820
It sucks that you had to come back because of these horrible circumstances, but at least you can find support here to help get you through it, regardless of what you decide at the end of it all. Welcome back. :hug:
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,619
Sorry to hear all of that,. You have a lot on your plate to say the Least. What is it that you do for work?

I Totally relate to the gun situation... I have numerous of them because I love to hunt. Just can't muster up the courage to pull the Fckn trigger yet. ,. =/
 
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fat feet

Throw away.
Sep 1, 2020
189
Sorry to hear all of that,. You have a lot on your plate to say the Least. What is it that you do for work?

I Totally relate to the gun situation... I have numerous of them because I love to hunt. Just can't muster up the courage to pull the Fckn trigger yet. ,. =/

If I had a gun I would be gone already.
 
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Reactions: Huntfish34 and death137

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