I’ll partially die of loneliness

[Whydid]

I don't enjoy life. I do enjoy connecting with people sometimes, though. After a terrible accident in 2023, it's been physically and emotionally difficult for me to recover to my former self. My former self was less aware, but in a sense bliss because I did not need to overthink everything and every little action. I was sick, yes, mostly due to medication withdrawal. Doctors who mishandled my individual case take no responsibility. I've been told to shut up and deal with it most of my life and with this ridiculously large life Trauma, I am told the same.
Now I struggle to go out, meet anyone, talk to new people and even just do basic things like get myself groceries. I have lived in daily pain for months.
I recently rented an air bnb for 2 1/2 weeks and a few friends of mine in the state I'm in now have stood me up on several occasions. I have this beautiful paradise to languish in. I can't even enjoy a day with another person because I am not important enough to anyone. What is the point of this life if all it is is isolation? We're all trapped inside on our phones, working, ruminating. There's just never really a good time for anyone, everyone is overworked and over stressed. I long for connection but I'm stuck alone and by myself and too afraid to meet anyone else because of what I've been put through.