Discussion If you were to die today, how would you feel about your life overall?

[Darkover]

If you were to die today, how would you feel about your life overall?

This isn't about being polite or pretending things were fine.
It's about the truth.
The things left unsaid. The chances never given. The weight you carried.
Maybe you're at peace. Maybe you're angry. Maybe it's both.


I made this poll because I've carried regret, anger, sadness, disappointment, and bitterness.
Too much pain. Too little joy.
And I wonder how many others feel the same.


Answer honestly. You can choose more than one.
No judgment. Just real feelings, from real people.

for me it's
Regretful – too much left undone or unsaid.
Angry – life never gave me a fair chance.
Disappointed – it wasn't what I hoped for.
Sad – I wish it had been different.
Bitter – too much pain, too little joy.

 

[Rynalia]

Confused.

I have conflicting feelings about everything in life, and I'm sure if I was forced to look back at it, I would still be conflicted about everything.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Regretful, sad, confused, disappointed, grateful.

 

[SilentSadness]

Probably mostly numb because I understood that this world was thoroughly evil years ago.

 

[starvingsparrow]

Of course there's all the grief, but I would feel happy knowing I get to go now, before it gets any worse, and that I had a little bit of happiness in my life. Praying that I go in my sleep tonight again (even though it won't happen) wish me luck

 

[Bad Ending]

I chose same options as you before reading your post

 

[Thomas599]

I'd give myself a B- overall. I've lived in several cities around the world. I've visited 48 different countries. I've developed an international mindset. I'm generally kind, a bit direct in my speech which at times puts some people off, but living a life walking on eggshells because you're worried about offending someone else, who probably doesn't even like me any way, is not who I am. I think I've impacted the lives of hundreds, if not thousands of young people positively for the most part. Over all, not a bad effort and not a bad result.

 

[SleepyTransit]

I would be at peace with it but also very bitter. I can't hide the pain any further. I was abused and traumatized by my family when I was young and I still am. And I feel that I am always targeted in society. But, I fought really hard to let not be in the way of my life but it has failed. I did the best i could but I have suffered enough... I hope to catch the bus soon but I can't get the scheduling right.

 

[Ligottian]

A little bit of each, maybe.

 

[gojidoge]

I wish my life could've been given to another so they'd take better advantage of it

 

[22yearsbroken]

All of the above... i lost my daughter because my ex was a a tooll and told me ahe was nit mine .. i traveled the world to find hope all i found and ever find is my failure to do more ...

 

[Fall_Apart]

I would finally feel free because existence is absurd in the first place. My life has been just a waste of time combined with trauma and pain. I can't find a valid meaning in existence, in fact I have always thought that there is an evil plan at the base of existence itself. No regrets, just the desire to leave as soon as possible.

 

[dw33ter]

I'd like to think I'd be at peace. I've mostly done what I could. Things haven't hit absolute rock bottom for me yet, but I want to leave on, while not a high note, a somewhat decent note before life gets too bad.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I'd be regretful and disappointed. I was really hoping my life would be special and I'll never get that chance now.

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

I did the best I could, but I wish I could've done more.

 

[usernamesarehard]

At peace, regretful, sad. I did what I could and actually got a lot better after getting on meds. Ultimately, though, I've come to accept that the world is a cruel, uncaring place and sometimes it knocks you down so hard you can't get up. Regretful- I still hold out hope that me and my ex get back together, I think I'd regret never being able to see that future, whether it happens or not. Sad- same thing I said about regretful + I'd feel bad for my family and my ex. I have a lot of family and I think a good portion of them love me. It would probably hurt my mom the most and I don't want that. My ex still loves me, we just aren't together because of unfortunate circumstances. I think he'd be pretty devastated and I don't want that for him.

 

[FishRain3469]

Mehh... uuĝhh... Idk , probably a huge mixture mash of being grateful, peaceful, angry, resentful, sad, confused, The list goes Onn... Idk anymore.. just my .02.

 

[outrider567]

Until January of 2022, i was quite satisfied with my life and how everything turned out

 

[Sutter]

Muddied.

Rifled most of those boxes in the years.

Today though, if it was today…

Overall much like most other curious creatures. Escaped certain demise, splashed on the edge of a pond convinced will alone could catch a fish, crawled off with my own pain to find a way out, furious hares were faster, full of pride snuck up on a cat, hysterical chuckles with the myriad uses of super glue, walk of shame for a lack of kindness, grace from a few that touched a heart, enlightened by chasing my own shadow, and amazed felt love and crushed by it.

Today though well would say didn't grandly fill the cup of life but knocked a lot of them over and as no rules per say it was enough to spill those cups and trod on muddied with all of it.

 

[struggles_inc]

GG WP. That was fun. No regrets.

 

[Chili]

Yeah I'd feel so regretful and disappointed. Just lived uselessly and never accomplished anything or anything I ever wanted

 

[Nauyaca]

Indifferent

Nothing I have ever experienced, not one person I have ever met could convince me that this world and this life is worth experiencing it, and suicide at this point feels like an empty gesture.

"It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late."

Our free will (if that is even a thing, a lot of people argue that it's just illusion) is irrelevant, since we were deprived of it in the moment when it mattered the most, to take the most important choice of all, which is the decision to be born.

So if i where to die, I don't think i would feel anything, besides the physical pain that death conveys, but emotionally wise? Nothing

 

[ForeverLonely82]

I don't even care anymore these days if I pass because I did what I was able to do. However, what makes me sad about it all is I watched friends have so much luck on their side. Landed girlfriends that legit loved them, have help from others find something they were wanting and needing. While I constantly worked far too hard to achieve ANY of it only for it to end in ruin. I though I struck big when I found someone that would marry me and that ended up being soulless as fuck, friends drifted and now I don't exist to ANYONE anymore. I wanted what they had, tried so hard to get it when I had the drive, but then when always winding up at square one more times then I could count. I should have never been born. Even to the people who are now my enemies I don't wish this on them either. It's like a hex that follows me and have no way to rid of it. always there, making sure I get the table scraps and worst what life has to offer. I did nothing to deserve this. I treat everyone fairly and equally if they show me kindness. I don't go out of my way to make someone suffer, I don't bother anyone. I don't lie or steal, yet, seen as a disease and hated by many just for merely having a different opinion and outlook. There is no way I can bullshit myself into thinking like others. So, to close, I wish it could be different, but fate has me in it's torture chamber until my life ceases to exist.

 

[ashendreams]

disappointed, angry, numb. my life is nothing but a mountain of failures and mistakes. but at the same time i never really had a chance from the start. but at this exact moment i cant seem to feel much of anything so i guess the real answer is just numb

 

[Archness]

I'd just accept it.
I'd be numb and disappointed, but at least it would've ended without just dragging on-and-on for the same conclusion.

 

[CatLvr]

I did the best I could with what I had to work with. That pretty much says it all.

 

[Grog]

I'd be sad. There's so many things I wish I had gotten to do that I never did.
But even if I live on, I don't think I'll be able to do what I want to do anyways.

 

[cecropia]

disappointing, really. I wouldn't have been able to make something of myself, but the pain has been so unbearable and being medicated to hell has taken its toll on me. I would be relieved if it meant that I could come back as an animal of some sort, maybe a pet. I wouldn't have to worry about things such as recognition, talent, trauma, college, people's very complicated social conventions. I would be loved unconditionally and have some sort of worth or value to my life, and someone would finally place value and comfort onto me. I wouldn't be as useless as I am now.

 

[Parnate]

Until January of 2022, i was quite satisfied with my life and how everything turned out

What happened after that ?

 

[hazelmoon]

Happy that I got the experience. In an eternity of nonexistence, how blessed are we to be able to say we got to exist for a short period of time. We didn't exist before, and we won't exist after. But during, we got to experience EVERYTHING. The happy moments, sad moments, all the emotions and experiences that come with being alive. Although our existences here have been torturous (hence us being on SaSu) At least we got to experience something other than nonexistence. I personally believe there is beauty in suffering, and it's just that- we got to experience the suffering and everything else. An eternity is a long time, at least we got to feel something for a tiny moment of eternity. And for that, I'm thankful for my life and for this experience. I'll die knowing what it was like to live.