Really wish I could access a method as peaceful as Nembutal in my case, having the option to die in such a peaceful way would be so incredibly relieving and solve everything for me, it's unacceptable extreme cruelty how there isn't the option to just easily and reliably die in peace. But anyway I hope that you eventually find freedom from this hellish existence, it disgusts me how we exist in such an anti-suicide society even know existing truly just is pointless suffering.