Discussion If you had a Dollar for every time someone yelled at you what would you buy?

[thinkkank]

I was in the bathroom taking a huge dump because I drank a fruit smoothie that had stayed in the heat too long. The bathroom was on the first floor near the stairs Someone I hate deeply, a harpee, a banshee, a bitch, a ghoul, a troll, a waste of life itself was on the ground floor in the living room. She yelled at me over some minor thing, but the yelling was so loud that it traveled up the stairs, through the door and into the bathroom. The bathroom has a fan that turns on when you turn the lights on, which is pretty annoying because it's so loud. I was able to hear her through the fan sound. The neighbors and people driving by the street could probably hear her.
As she was shrieking and howling I went into a quiet peaceful place in my mind. A meadow with a cool breeze and flowers swaying back and forth. Squirrels jumped around playfully and birds chirped cheerfully. It was like a painting or a postcard. I was thinking to myself "if I could get paid every time someone yelled at me I'd be a millionaire." If you earned money every time someone yelled at you (a yell fee) what would you buy?

I would buy a yacht




and I'd buy a dalmatian for my yacht. That's my boat bitch.





I'd have enough money left over to buy a mansion





and I'd buy another dalmatian for my house. That's my mansion mutt.

 

[voorpret]

I'd pay for a new, freshly-made smoothie just for you, so you can take normal dumps

 

[bankai]

I'd make a suggestion. Invest it all in an ETF and live off the passive interest instead.

You never have to work again. You never have to depend on anyone again and no one is going to shout at you.

 

[darksouls]

you could adopt homeless dogs and give them a home

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I dunno, a small meal? People tend to never confront me directly and instead do pass agg nonverbal communication or talk shit about me. Probably because I may seem both creepy and without much to lose. Not that there's ever much to confront me on nowadays, since I stopped being such a POS and am basically just trying to get by, be kind and respectful, apologize if I do something wrong, etc.

Sounds like you're not around the most intelligent of people, since I don't think yelling is a good communication strategy (aside from rare instances).

 

[Forever Sleep]

Not sure I've been yelled at since school. I'm either very lucky, very square/ compliant or, very alone.

 

[Pluto]

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I could by the United States government, pay off its debt, shut it all down, and establish a benevolent dictatorship fully funded for the next 1,000 years. Then hire someone to kill me. And have money left over.

Not sure I've been yelled at since school. I'm either very lucky, very square/ compliant or, very alone.

I have extra. If I could put it in a bottle and ship it to you, you'd have plenty.

 

[SVEN]

Earplugs.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I could almost buy a cheeseburger. I have only yelled at someone 2 times in my life but I was pressed to a breaking point, normally it´s like I have a mental block that prohibits me from yelling I am simple unable to.

 

[thinkkank]

I'd make a suggestion. Invest it all in an ETF and live off the passive interest instead.

You never have to work again. You never have to depend on anyone again and no one is going to shout at you.

truer words have never been spoken. When your money works for you you don't have to work a day in your life.
I just got yelled at for 15 minutes by some loser, some fuckwad. If I got a yell fee from that I would buy a bat-mobile and a bat signal. The problem is that car is too damn long to park properly. I'd just shine the bat signal into peoples' windows at night to wake them up and piss them off.