idk what to do

[sadstankyrat]

i moved out of my home country 4 years ago. i had a best friend and she introduced me to my favourite band. i miss my best friend and i still cry about it a lot. she was so different from everyone else. i keep on imagining what iit. would be like if i went back and saw her at vaughan mills or walmart... i dont know why i can't stop thinking about her. she's moved on and forgot about me. i guess she was the only one i have ever felt that had truely cared for me. my parents keep on venting n me and whenvever i make new friends i end up getting hurt. i love too hard and i never mean as much to people as they mean to me. I hurt myself before and my parents beat me with a hanger and told me i didn't have the right to feel that way and many other nasty things. sometimes at night i remember terrible things and i shake so hard and it feels like im spinning. i tried to commit before but i didn't have the guts. i feel stuck, and i'm tired of this place. i dont know what to do. drawing doesn't help anymore.

 

[Notabadguy]

Excuse my poor English.
I'm sorry your are in pain. I suppose, based on what you say, that you're a teenager. My opinion is that you shouldn't CTB. You are way too young. You do have a chance. I don't know what to say about your problems, but I think that you can't base your life on a friend. Everybody needs some sort of love, that's human, but dependence it's not good. What happens if your friend falls in love and have children? What does happen is that automatically you are less important. What happens if your friend eventually find a job in another city? And so on...

A total different thing is what you say about your parents beating you. I don't know what to say.

 

[Poptart]

How old are you?

It sounds like youre dealing with a lot. Before you CTB, have you exhausted all your options? (Therapy, medication, moving out if you live with your family.)

No one has the right to hit you. You deserve better.