Venting I would like to live if life wasn't so exhausting

[sleeplessboyinbed]

There's a few things that i enjoy doing in this life, and they make me wish i could actually live. When i do them, i forget all my worries. It even makes me feel like life is decent. But this bliss can't last forever, when i get into the real world, death is all i can think about. I struggle with every aspect of my life and everything is a huge effort for me, im just constantly exhausted and only have the strength to do things like watching something or gaming. I hate myself so much for it. In January i was doing ok productivity wise. But it only lasted a month and now all days are one and i can barely get up from bed. Why can't i make myself do things? I hate my life. Im waiting for something bad to happen so i can ctb. Because my illogical want to live is ruining everything for me >:(

 

[takoluka]

that's so real, i also have issues with getting out of bed :( i just wish i got hit by a car or something tbh

also is kaito your fav vocaloid? mine's luka :)

 

[PanaxMan]

There's a few things that i enjoy doing in this life, and they make me wish i could actually live. When i do them, i forget all my worries. It even makes me feel like life is decent. But this bliss can't last forever, when i get into the real world, death is all i can think about. I struggle with every aspect of my life and everything is a huge effort for me, im just constantly exhausted and only have the strength to do things like watching something or gaming. I hate myself so much for it. In January i was doing ok productivity wise. But it only lasted a month and now all days are one and i can barely get up from bed. Why can't i make myself do things? I hate my life. Im waiting for something bad to happen so i can ctb. Because my illogical want to live is ruining everything for me >:(

I'm currently homeless and my tiredness is at 100x then normal

 

[inpainnosleep]

I would have liked to live if it wasn't for health issues and now benzo withdrawl with probable permanent side effects because I was using a benzo for it's anti-epileptic purposes. I already had a shit ton of mental health problems and out of all things I ruined my health very high doses of grey market edible THC. If only I could go back in time and not get addicted to very high doses of every day edible THC. I think when I stopped it cold turkey it caused a neurological injury. :( But even with all my other issues I really wanted to live before.

 

[sleeplessboyinbed]

that's so real, i also have issues with getting out of bed :( i just wish i got hit by a car or something tbh

also is kaito your fav vocaloid? mine's luka :)

I want to get hit by a car so bad :(
Yes, i love Kaito!!

 

[delinquentsandwich]

I like doing things like piano, playing video games, playing chess and even just chatting with people online
I enjoy nature, sightseeing and life in general

but in every other aspect I am a failure and it makes me generally unfit for this world unfortunately
I really wish I could enjoy life to its fullest extent but I just can't

there is no more strength in me to keep going and the light in me has faded
I don't know how people can keep going in this world
I wish I had more positive things to say..

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

You're exhausted because you're trying to control the uncontrollables, which is what the Suncha axiom is for:

"You can't please everyone; control the things you can control, one step at a time," for whoever has, to them more will be given until they have it abundantly, but those that do not have, even what they think they have shall be taken from them. (Matthew 13:12)

Therefore, it's time you rest, and live one day at a time, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

I'm currently homeless and my tiredness is at 100x then normal

May you also have your rest.

 

[takoluka]

I want to get hit by a car so bad :(
Yes, i love Kaito!!

kaito is so peak

 

[sleeplessboyinbed]

You're exhausted because you're trying to control the uncontrollables, which is what the Suncha axiom is for:

"You can't please everyone; control the things you can control, one step at a time," for whoever has, to them more will be given until they have it abundantly, but those that do not have, even what they think they have shall be taken from them. (Matthew 13:12)

Therefore, it's time you rest, and live one day at a time, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

May you also have your rest.

I want to rest but life is indifferent about my struggles, it just keeps going. But still thank you for your advice!

 

[Wojaczek]

100% relate, i can only tolerate the things that i enjoy doing and even then i sometimes get too depressed for them.
no way in hell am i going to tolerate all the annoying bullshit that comes with growing up in a society.
society, in the best case doesn't care about you or it hates you, that's it. it's a huge torture chamber and it needs to disappear immediately.

 

[Pluto]

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Me too. I really don't wanna die. I just wish I never had borderline personality disorder so I wouldn't suffer so much and want to end my life. :/

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

I want to rest but life is indifferent about my struggles, it just keeps going. But still thank you for your advice!

Let it be so; that is beyond our control.