I wish I had the energy to write

[Walilamdzi]

a letter detailing how meeting this one person and their propensity to lead me on when I was very vulnerable has lead to this state of affairs where I've experienced numerous traumas that I never would have encountered had they not done so, but I don't have the energy. They will never fully understand the profoundly terrible impact of their actions on good people (it has already affected my entire family who have had to witness and support me through years of suffering and I am truly sorry for this and the future impact of losing me). It was so unlucky. Things could have been so different. These events completely obliterated the person I was. I miss me. I no longer feel that I am myself, I am irrevocably warped by the harm that I've suffered. There is a gaping chasm in my soul and I am a shadow of my former self. It could have all been avoided if their actions had been different.