Venting I was robbed by 3 of my dealers

[Emerita]

The first one asked me for money and food so I gave him some cash and a bag full of food and he ghosted me. He broke his phone so I didn't think much of it and he gave me a little bit of drugs at the time. (This was 2 months ago)

Then most recently:

The second person I had blocked for good reasons he messaged me with a different contact asking me if I wanted to pick up. He said he needed the money first. I was desperate, so I gave it to him. Then he asked for food, so I packed him a bag full of food, thinking he was going to pick it up and drop off my stuff. And he ghosted me, he didn't even get the food I have for him. I also had a gift in there for him from before I had him blocked.

The third guy I reached out to because the last guy never gave me my drugs. I gave him 3 chocolate bars hoping that would help with him not robbing me (idk why I thought that) and he ghosted me.

I have lost faith in humanity (I already had lost faith but now even more). I just want to die. I can't get drugs. I'm an addict, so my way of coping is gone, and I'm panicking. I feel so stupid and betrayed. I miss my old dealers, they never robbed me and were actually nice. I don't know how I could be so stupid.

I want to claw my eyes out, scream and sob uncontrollably. I want to bash my head in to stop this feeling. I don't know if I can keep my cool.

Edit: Im also withdrawing and Im not handling it well (sorry about that)

Edit: I just dont know what to do… my way of coping, the thing I use to make myself feel somewhat not horrible is gone and I have nothing now. I dont even care about the money I just want my drugs, I just want to get high so Im not in so much pain. I feel abandoned by my drug, the one thing that isn't supposed to leave because its a stupid substance.

 

[BrainSplatter]

Wdym food? Like actual food? In the UK food is slang for drugs so kinda confusing. Where are you from? Never once have I ever given my dealer food or chocolate lol it just seems kind of strange to me. What drugs do you use? Icl you seem kinda vulnerable mb easily manipulated like you said you blocked the 2nd guy for good reason so why unblock him what did you expect to happen you obviously knew he wasn't trustworthy. Did you chase up the first guy not giving you the correct amount or just sit by and wait for him to come to you? Don't make youself a easy target the first guy could of bragged and told the other dealers that he took your shit so then they'll be like yeah I can do that too like they could've planned the whole thing. Stand your ground ask to at least look at the drugs first before handing any cash then you'd of seen if it was the right amount but yeah honestly this is why I prefer buying on DWMs

 

[Emerita]

Wdym food? Like actual food? In the UK food is slang for drugs so kinda confusing. Where are you from? Never once have I ever given my dealer food or chocolate lol it just seems kind of strange to me. What drugs do you use? Icl you seem kinda vulnerable mb easily manipulated like you said you blocked the 2nd guy for good reason so why unblock him what did you expect to happen you obviously knew he wasn't trustworthy. Did you chase up the first guy not giving you the correct amount or just sit by and wait for him to come to you? Don't make youself a easy target the first guy could of bragged and told the other dealers that he took your shit so then they'll be like yeah I can do that too like they could've planned the whole thing. Stand your ground ask to at least look at the drugs first before handing any cash then you'd of seen if it was the right amount but yeah honestly this is why I prefer buying on DWMs

No, like actually food because they said they were hungry and in need, so it was groceries. Im not from the UK.

I have been friends with these people so no it wasn't weird.

I have smoked crystal meth daily since grade 10 so meth.

The second guy did something to me I would rather not say. And like I said I was desperate for drugs and he had never robbed me before, none of them have until now.

Normally I get the drugs when I hand them the money but theres a new person running the market so they said they needed it first because they're just runners at the moment because there has been a lot of raids.

 

[BrainSplatter]

yeah that makes more sense if they were your friends but than again a real friend wouldn't do that but a addict would.. do they use too maybe they smoked their supply or was robbed themselves owed people money. It seems strange for them to suddenly betray you if things were going smoothly until now. Meth is a dangerous game I would switch to buying on DWMs for your own safety this is obviously traumatic for you and I'm telling you now it will happen again and get worse I've been a addict for 7+ years now throughout that time I've been jumped by 3 men robbed beaten held at knife point multiple times I did that to myself all I wanted was to get high and now I have to live with the consequences of those experiences. DWMs the product is way purer than anything I've had on the streets anyway. I only recently started buying crack again from some local guy I didn't want to wait a day for shipping but it so weird he was trying to get me to come to his house and 'chill' I refused but it's a common theme with dealers they'll try use their position to get you to sleep with them. This is something I can completely avoid with online purchases it's also cheaper so I'm able to afford enough I'm not longer desperate like I used to be

 

[Eriktf]

yeah it sucks when a dealer does that
ask around and you find someone new.

i always find new dealer when i get admitted at detox often in regular ward too

there are also dark web markeds

also could be a good time to stop using

 

[Emerita]

Update!! the third guy just got out of jail…. he gave me extra because it took so long

 

[DeusVult]

I recommend getting drugs from the dark web, it's more reliable than irl dealers. I can help you with it.

 

[Blueberry Panic]

I miss doing meth, it was...lovely... i just went higher on the drug ladder and ended up doing heroin... I'm glad I'm just able to function without any substances in my system anymore.

I gave up on doing so much drugs after my dealer passed away... I wasn't able to find anyone else so I turned to alcohol.

 

[Emerita]

I miss doing meth, it was...lovely... i just went higher on the drug ladder and ended up doing heroin... I'm glad I'm just able to function without any substances in my system anymore.

I gave up on doing so much drugs after my dealer passed away... I wasn't able to find anyone else so I turned to alcohol.

Meth is my go to, it's so cheap and it's a long high. Downers aren't as popular… well fent is, but my dealers wont deal me fent because they don't trust that I wont try to CTB with it they know me too well… its actually really frustrating. I've begged they give me fent but they refuse. I can get other downers but the issue is where I live they keep having drug raids and bringing in the task force.

That's good you can function without it… you don't need methadone?

 

[Blueberry Panic]

Meth is my go to, it's so cheap and it's a long high. Downers aren't as popular… well fent is, but my dealers wont deal me fent because they don't trust that I wont try to CTB with it they know me too well… its actually really frustrating. I've begged they give me fent but they refuse. I can get other downers but the issue is where I live they keep having drug raids and bringing in the task force.

That's good you can function without it… you don't need methadone?

A ex of mine overdosed passing away as I was high on heroin...and after that I decided to taper off everything a few years ago. I'm not completely clean,I will occasionally pop a few pills but nothing like I did before.
I was tired of the constant overdoses every month and the multiple visits to the hospital.
No methadone... just a lot of withdrawals and staying in bed for a few months.
Now the only visits to the hospital I have are for failed suicide attempts lol.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Yeah. If your dealer needs food he's a terrible dealer.

I've had a love affair with opiates for some time now. I kicked methadone cold turkey. Then replaced it with kratom. Not ideal, but legal. Was gainfully employed did well for a while. But the world wants to crush you always. So im plotting my return to illicit drugs. Hopefully I can go the methadone route, and not be a criminal. As far as meth. I was so depressed I used it, and it did help. Coke would have been better, but meth was what I could get. Of course the world loves to judge. They offer zero solutions, and only heap more pain. So fuck em.

 

[Emerita]

Yeah. If your dealer needs food he's a terrible dealer.

I've had a love affair with opiates for some time now. I kicked methadone cold turkey. Then replaced it with kratom. Not ideal, but legal. Was gainfully employed did well for a while. But the world wants to crush you always. So im plotting my return to illicit drugs. Hopefully I can go the methadone route, and not be a criminal. As far as meth. I was so depressed I used it, and it did help. Coke would have been better, but meth was what I could get. Of course the world loves to judge. They offer zero solutions, and only heap more pain. So fuck em.

Yeah I mean maybe a terrible dealer but also things happen. And I really don't mind giving someone food if they're in need of it.

The first two people are just a year older then me and Idk I have a soft spot for them because they were friends with a guy a dated and he was killed so, idk. I also preferred them because they didn't make things weird with making me uncomfortable.

Idk where you're from but where Im from it's pretty easy and cheap to get prescribed methadone through a gp. Also idk wtf kratom is… I feel like I've heard it mentioned before but idk. Is it up or down?

I live where it's not illegal to be a drug user, like you can have illicit drugs and it's not illegal, it's only illegal to be the person transporting it and selling it. So I guess Im lucky in that sense, that I don't have to worry about the law.

I don't get the preference for coke… I like that it has a numbing effect but it just doesn't give the same intensity as meth for me.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Yeah I mean maybe a terrible dealer but also things happen. And I really don't mind giving someone food if they're in need of it.

The first two people are just a year older then me and Idk I have a soft spot for them because they were friends with a guy a dated and he was killed so, idk. I also preferred them because they didn't make things weird with making me uncomfortable.

Idk where you're from but where Im from it's pretty easy and cheap to get prescribed methadone through a gp. Also idk wtf kratom is… I feel like I've heard it mentioned before but idk. Is it up or down?

I live where it's not illegal to be a drug user, like you can have illicit drugs and it's not illegal, it's only illegal to be the person transporting it and selling it. So I guess Im lucky in that sense, that I don't have to worry about the law.

I don't get the preference for coke… I like that it has a numbing effect but it just doesn't give the same intensity as meth for me.

I read what you originally posted , and should have suggested you try kratom. You won't get beat for that. I mean to be sure using drugs is bad. Everybody should avoid them. There's a reason they are illegal. They are unregulated, and thusly dangerous. BUT if mental health services won't help because they are playing politics with your care... kratom IMHO is a go to. Cuts out the "dealer ". Ensures delivery of your product. That's my advice. Have been out of it for a few days now.