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Yaka

Yaka

Member
Jan 23, 2024
53
I was literally told by my own mother than I was not supose to exist- fucking imagine that for one second
At first when she told me this I didnt belive her... she was told by MANY doctors that she was never supose to be able to have babies but here the fuck I am I guess
Anyone with similar experinces? Maybe I am just overdramatic but this seems like something you shoudent tell your own child.
 
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L

lacrimosa

Experienced
Jul 1, 2024
231
I was literally told by my own mother than I was not supose to exist- fucking imagine that for one second
At first when she told me this I didnt belive her... she was told by MANY doctors that she was never supose to be able to have babies but here the fuck I am I guess
Anyone with similar experinces? Maybe I am just overdramatic but this seems like something you shoudent tell your own child.
Maybe you're taking it out of context. Perhaps she meant you are a miracle and whatnot. Don't take it so badly unless it was meant to slight you. And if that's the case, then I am sorry you are hurting from this.
 
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Yaka

Yaka

Member
Jan 23, 2024
53
Maybe you're taking it out of context. Perhaps she meant you are a miracle and whatnot. Don't take it so badly unless it was meant to slight you. And if that's the case, then I am sorry you are hurting from this.
She did not want children but she hasent said that It was bad she had me or that it was good she had me

with the way she is constantly screaming and shit abotu the bad shit I do I assume bad
 
S

SamwiseGamgee

Member
Jul 21, 2024
13
You are not being overly dramatic at all
I hope you can talk about it with her, get some clarity on it
Maybe you being born wasn't planned, but she is happy it happened anyway?
Sounds like that to me. I would talk with her about it
 
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Yaka

Yaka

Member
Jan 23, 2024
53
You are not being overly dramatic at all
I hope you can talk about it with her, get some clarity on it
Maybe you being born wasn't planned, but she is happy it happened anyway?
Sounds like that to me. I would talk with her about it
Oh trust me I wish I could talk with her about anything but then it become yelling about all of the shit I havent done yet that needs to get done or yelling about all the shit I have done wrong
 
R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
4,076
I'm so sorry. No, you are not being dramatic and no you don't deserve to be told that. Especially not from the very person that brought you here. Things like this, in whatever context they may be meant, should never come out of a parents mouth let alone your own mother, but sadly it's been the reality in one too many cases. I don't know, I never understood how they are able to say those things and not understand how they make one feel. My mom always told me she wishes I die and that she be glad to bury me, as a child or as an adult. I see so many around me do the same and i always ache for that child because i know exactly how it feels. How it is possible to hate your own that much to wish them that with all your heart, I'll never know. I don't know....my mom always brings up the fact that am not a mother since why I don't understand things. Thank God for the fact that there won't be a possibility of me making another feel like that.
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
9,118
I wasn't really supposed to "exist". My father was wearing a condom during the intercourse with my mother that ended up creating me. I guess it can be kind of inferred that I really wasn't wanted, at least at that time. It was all good, though. Even though I wasn't planned, per say, my parents accepted the fact that I was going to be, and I became wanted, even though my parents would split up before my birth and divorced shortly thereafter. Never once had a doubt in my life that I was wanted or loved.

I don't know the context of the OP's mother telling them they weren't supposed to exist. Based on what the OP stated, it seems only in reference that their mother wasn't supposed to be able to have children, not entirely unlike that I wasn't supposed to come into being, if not for a defective condom. And there's a world of difference between not supposed to have existed, and not being wanted after having arrived. That's my take on it, anyway.
 
ferrie

ferrie

she/they
May 19, 2024
513
I wasn't supposed to either. My mother lied to my father about having ovarian cancer that caused infertility. Two months later they found out she was pregnant & got married within the month. My mother has resented me for "ruining her life" since she got pregnant at 20 despite knowing that she was lying about the cancer & infertility, so I know what it's like to have a parent who didn't want you even after birth. I don't think your mother shouldn't have told you necessarily, but if your relationship is strained then it definitely could have been inappropriate. There's no black & white for this. Some people want as much information as possible about their circumstances while others would rather not deal with the conflict. Regardless, I'm sorry for the distress knowing this about your birth causes you
 
Minsu

Minsu

♀️🏳️‍🌈
Jan 17, 2023
552
I was literally told by my own mother than I was not supose to exist- fucking imagine that for one second
At first when she told me this I didnt belive her... she was told by MANY doctors that she was never supose to be able to have babies but here the fuck I am I guess
Anyone with similar experinces? Maybe I am just overdramatic but this seems like something you shoudent tell your own child.
I feel you. My dad told me something veey similar. He's one of the reasons why I wanna ctb
 
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EternalShore

EternalShore

Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
Jun 9, 2023
1,701
I was literally told by my own mother than I was not supose to exist- fucking imagine that for one second
At first when she told me this I didnt belive her... she was told by MANY doctors that she was never supose to be able to have babies but here the fuck I am I guess
Anyone with similar experinces? Maybe I am just overdramatic but this seems like something you shoudent tell your own child.
I'm sorry to hear about how this has affected your mental state and how she's verbally abused and manipulated you, making you feel like you're unwanted~ :( Proper mothers should be raising their children well and taking good care of them~ Unfortunately for many of us here, that isn't always the case~ :( The same thing is true of my mother whose mother was also supposedly too old~
 
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FallingGrace

FallingGrace

Secretary of something
Mar 11, 2020
166
I'm sorry to hear about how this has affected your mental state and how she's verbally abused and manipulated you, making you feel like you're unwanted~ :( Proper mothers should be raising their children well and taking good care of them~ Unfortunately for many of us here, that isn't always the case~ :( The same thing is true of my mother whose mother was also supposedly too old~
Confiding in your child about your fertility issues is now verbal abuse/manipulation? Am I missing something here? There are some people here who are the product of incest, rape, unwanted or adopted, kicked out because they are trans or gay, beaten daily. Are we really diluting the word "abuse" by including 'oversharing fertility status'?
 
Yaka

Yaka

Member
Jan 23, 2024
53
I'm so sorry. No, you are not being dramatic and no you don't deserve to be told that. Especially not from the very person that brought you here. Things like this, in whatever context they may be meant, should never come out of a parents mouth let alone your own mother, but sadly it's been the reality in one too many cases. I don't know, I never understood how they are able to say those things and not understand how they make one feel. My mom always told me she wishes I die and that she be glad to bury me, as a child or as an adult. I see so many around me do the same and i always ache for that child because i know exactly how it feels. How it is possible to hate your own that much to wish them that with all your heart, I'll never know. I don't know....my mom always brings up the fact that am not a mother since why I don't understand things. Thank God for the fact that there won't be a possibility of me making another feel like that.
Thanks for this
I wasn't really supposed to "exist". My father was wearing a condom during the intercourse with my mother that ended up creating me. I guess it can be kind of inferred that I really wasn't wanted, at least at that time. It was all good, though. Even though I wasn't planned, per say, my parents accepted the fact that I was going to be, and I became wanted, even though my parents would split up before my birth and divorced shortly thereafter. Never once had a doubt in my life that I was wanted or loved.

I don't know the context of the OP's mother telling them they weren't supposed to exist. Based on what the OP stated, it seems only in reference that their mother wasn't supposed to be able to have children, not entirely unlike that I wasn't supposed to come into being, if not for a defective condom. And there's a world of difference between not supposed to have existed, and not being wanted after having arrived. That's my take on it, anyway.
If she had wanted me she would have taken all of the meds and such to have me like she did my sister which is her fav
Confiding in your child about your fertility issues is now verbal abuse/manipulation? Am I missing something here? There are some people here who are the product of incest, rape, unwanted or adopted, kicked out because they are trans or gay, beaten daily. Are we really diluting the word "abuse" by including 'oversharing fertility status'?
Other than in this sutuation she has been very verbally abusive twards me so while this part may not be I am not sure
 
EternalShore

EternalShore

Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
Jun 9, 2023
1,701
Confiding in your child about your fertility issues is now verbal abuse/manipulation? Am I missing something here? There are some people here who are the product of incest, rape, unwanted or adopted, kicked out because they are trans or gay, beaten daily. Are we really diluting the word "abuse" by including 'oversharing fertility status'?
pretty sure calling your child worthless is verbal abuse~
Anyways, we're all part of the neglected part of society~ Just because someone has it slightly better than someone else here doesn't mean that either of their lives are any less bad~ :(
 
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