Venting I want to be free from the abuse

[Tumblewillow]

I can't handle it anymore I want to just be free

I've been living with the man that groomed and assaulted me when I was 16 for over a decade. I moved in with him after he promised to change and to get away from domestic abuse at the hands of my mother. I just didn't want to be hit and have things thrown at me anymore.

He spends all day everyday talking about himself, I feel so invisible. Hours a day talking about how clever he is, how everyone is in awe of him. He expects me to drop everything I'm doing to listen. He will even wake me up to talk.
I'm not allowed any emotional support because it's "self pitying rubbish" or he changes the conversation to talk about himself. If I try to have any conversation with emotional depth I get called names and told I'm useless or delusional or stupid.

I have the option to go back home to domestic violence or stay here enduring this. I'm trying to go to college so I can get a better job and support myself but there isn't any point anymore. I'm too tired and I cant do it alone. I have no one else.
I don't even want to die. I love life, I just can't survive mine anymore.

I have one method and if that doesn't work I'm going to have to jump infront of one of the local trains which I don't want to do. I wish my life had been different

 

[Cauliflour]

Maybe look around for local homeless shelters? I know it's not ideal but if your other options are that jackass or domestic violence then I'm sure a decent homeless shelter would be a better alternative. Maybe call some charities that specialise in this stuff to see if they can help you with accommodation? Idk I've never been in this situation but that's what I would do in that scenario.

 

[Nightfoot]

You might see if there is a domestic violence shelter in your area so you can get out of your bad situation without having to either return to another one or take your own life. I hope you find a good solution because you don't deserve to suffer.

 

[fedup1982]

I can't handle it anymore I want to just be free

I've been living with the man that groomed and assaulted me when I was 16 for over a decade. I moved in with him after he promised to change and to get away from domestic abuse at the hands of my mother. I just didn't want to be hit and have things thrown at me anymore.

He spends all day everyday talking about himself, I feel so invisible. Hours a day talking about how clever he is, how everyone is in awe of him. He expects me to drop everything I'm doing to listen. He will even wake me up to talk.
I'm not allowed any emotional support because it's "self pitying rubbish" or he changes the conversation to talk about himself. If I try to have any conversation with emotional depth I get called names and told I'm useless or delusional or stupid.

I have the option to go back home to domestic violence or stay here enduring this. I'm trying to go to college so I can get a better job and support myself but there isn't any point anymore. I'm too tired and I cant do it alone. I have no one else.
I don't even want to die. I love life, I just can't survive mine anymore.

I have one method and if that doesn't work I'm going to have to jump infront of one of the local trains which I don't want to do. I wish my life had been different

What country are you in? Maybe I can try and find a charity or organisation or government service that can help you? Or maybe you could book an appt with your doctor to ask for help? You should not need to put up with this (and he should be in prison)