Venting i want to be beautiful when i die

[disjointed]

whenever i decide to ctb, i want to be beautiful. i'll get myself all done up before, hair, makeup, nails, outfit, everything. it seems so scary but thinking about being beautiful even in death is comforting. the thought brings me so much peace and acceptance towards ctb. i don't want to say im looking forward to it exactly but it makes it pleasant to think about.

i do feel as if im beautiful and insecurity towards my looks isn't something i struggle with much anymore but that's such a worldly thing and i don't want to be in this world. no matter how i've looked, my mind can't be fixed.

honestly death is such a scary thing and im more scared to die than i am to ctb even though the end result is the same. dying a beautiful death is so serene

 

[Pale_Rider]

Indeed you will be.

 

[disjointed]

Indeed you will be.

thank you

 

[Pale_Rider]

thank you

You are very welcome.

 

[bankai]

Put on some makeup, wear a diaper,A frilly outfit and you should be good to go.

 

[hiitsme]

same but i'm trans so they'd probably take off the makeup, cut my hair, put on a binder, and put me in a tux. which ig it really doesn't matter bc i'll be dead

 

[forfever]

same but i'm trans so they'd probably take off the makeup, cut my hair, put on a binder, and put me in a tux. which ig it really doesn't matter bc i'll be dead

do they really do that?

 

[hiitsme]

do they really do that?

yeah, they'd probably do that bc
my grandparents are transphobic, and my parents probably would be worried to upset them bc of life insurance tbh loll. i think your family gets to decide how you look in your casket but idk for sure

 

[bankai]

yeah, they'd probably do that bc
my grandparents are transphobic, and my parents probably would be worried to upset them bc of life insurance tbh loll. i think your family gets to decide how you look in your casket but idk for sure

If you prepaid your funeral expenses, you get to decide. If they are paying for it, they will get to decide.

 

[Dejected 55]

I'm going for the opposite. I haven't been caring about my weight anymore when I had been losing weight last year and getting into shape. I also usually like to have a crewcut and either no beard or a neatly trimmed short one... but I haven't cut my hair or shaved in probably at least 8 months now. I look like one of those troll pencil toppers, you could shove a pencil up my ass and twirl me and the hair would go like the troll hair now. Some random stranger in a Wal-Mart a week or so ago passed by me, took one look, and said "Santa" and kept walking.

 

[alwaysalone]

I'm going for the opposite. I haven't been caring about my weight anymore when I had been losing weight last year and getting into shape. I also usually like to have a crewcut and either no beard or a neatly trimmed short one... but I haven't cut my hair or shaved in probably at least 8 months now. I look like one of those troll pencil toppers, you could shove a pencil up my ass and twirl me and the hair would go like the troll hair now. Some random stranger in a Wal-Mart a week or so ago passed by me, took one look, and said "Santa" and kept walking.

LOL I really don't want to hurt your feelings if I am I'm sorry. I thought I detected some sarcasm and self-deprecating humor in your "tone". Again if im wrong I'm sorry.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I want my picture that will stay on PubMed forever to not look bad. (joking)

 

[Pluto]

 

[forfever]

yeah, they'd probably do that bc
my grandparents are transphobic, and my parents probably would be worried to upset them bc of life insurance tbh loll. i think your family gets to decide how you look in your casket but idk for sure

humanity is evil

 

[Dejected 55]

LOL I really don't want to hurt your feelings if I am I'm sorry. I thought I detected some sarcasm and self-deprecating humor in your "tone". Again if im wrong I'm sorry.

I'm often self-deprecating and sarcastic, but it's also true that I'm apparently too ugly to love. When I was a kid and I told my mother once that I thought I was too ugly for girls to like, she just said that she had dated ugly guys. Even she couldn't lie to me.

 

[RestlessTaiga]

Whenever my time to ctb arrives, I wanna be where I can see the moon, and the moon can see me, this is the only thing that I care.

 

[monetpompo]

View attachment 167477

hardcore

 

[Griever]

I also want to look beautiful before I die

 

[alwaysalone]

I'm often self-deprecating and sarcastic, but it's also true that I'm apparently too ugly to love. When I was a kid and I told my mother once that I thought I was too ugly for girls to like, she just said that she had dated ugly guys. Even she couldn't lie to me.

Awww I'm sorry. To be fair Santa isn't ugly and lots of women like big guys. I don't know you and have never seen you so It would mean nothing I'd I said you are not ugly. I will say most people think they are ugly.

 

[Polyxo]

I only wanna look decent because I plan to CTB in my room and I live with my parents. I want to prevent trauma from seeing a horrifically dead body

 

[Dejected 55]

Awww I'm sorry. To be fair Santa isn't ugly and lots of women like big guys. I don't know you and have never seen you so It would mean nothing I'd I said you are not ugly. I will say most people think they are ugly.

To be fair... what I think of how I look doesn't even really matter. I've accepted it. And I've seen guys who look similar to myself who have relationships and woman who adore them... so I've honestly never thought it was how I look that was stopping me from being in a relationship. I can't say it isn't a factor though, and it has to make it harder. I mean, if I were handsome, women might give me time enough to get to know me and see I'm a good guy. I don't know. No use worrying about things I cannot change.

 

[Squiggles3]

I personally don't see a point I was born an ugly man ill die one. I could deal with being ugly. I could deal with being poor. I could deal with being trans. But all three? Nah. Being and ugly trans women who will never pass is not how I want to be remembered. I'd like every part of my body destroyed. I suppose I could do some looney tunes system where I comically fling myself into a wood chipper after I'm dead but cremation seems easier.

 

[darksouls]

whenever i decide to ctb, i want to be beautiful. i'll get myself all done up before, hair, makeup, nails, outfit, everything. it seems so scary but thinking about being beautiful even in death is comforting. the thought brings me so much peace and acceptance towards ctb. i don't want to say im looking forward to it exactly but it makes it pleasant to think about.

i do feel as if im beautiful and insecurity towards my looks isn't something i struggle with much anymore but that's such a worldly thing and i don't want to be in this world. no matter how i've looked, my mind can't be fixed.

honestly death is such a scary thing and im more scared to die than i am to ctb even though the end result is the same. dying a beautiful death is so serene

I want to ctb like RonnieMcNutt
so I dont need make-up

 

[EvisceratedJester]

You'll probably be covered in shit and piss (since, you know, we tend to piss and shit ourselves when we die) so it likely won't be as serene as you are imagining in your head. Tbh, there isn't much of a point in caring about how you will look when you die. Most deaths are ugly and brutal anyway. Once you are dead, it's not like you'll be able to give a shit about what other people think anyways.


That's my view on the whole matter anyway...