I think today is the day

[Exhausted546]

I'm currently alone at home but I have no clue for how long,however I should get a 1h window in 4 hours

I didn't test the FSH set up with a door but it seems intuitive enough to me, unless my weight breaks doorknob on the other side or something.

Thing is I cannot fail this attempt, hopefully I go through with it. I'll try to do it fast and avoid overthinking so I don't chicken out of it.

 

[paperwork]

Whatever happens, best of luck and I hope you find your peace. Don't rush, do what feels right.

 

[Terrible_Life]

I'm currently alone at home but I have no clue for how long,however I should get a 1h window in 4 hours

I didn't test the FSH set up with a door but it seems intuitive enough to me, unless my weight breaks doorknob on the other side or something.

Thing is I cannot fail this attempt, hopefully I go through with it. I'll try to do it fast and avoid overthinking so I don't chicken out of it.

I would not risk to fail and end up in horrible condition or survive and your family will find out everything its better if you could test the door method to ser if it can hold you

 

[Exhausted546]

I would not risk to fail and end up in horrible condition or survive and your family will find out everything its better if you could test the door method to ser if it can hold you

Hmmm you're right. I should at least test if it can hold my weight solidly first.

 

[Terrible_Life]

Hmmm you're right. I should at least test if it can hold my weight solidly first.

I wish i could also just ctb today so that there would be not shit tomorrow full of suffering and torture by mental pain.

Do think you'll be afraid in the moment when you put the noose on your neck?
i ask because i think this will be a very difficult part saying finally goodbye from this life from this world forever…

 

[daruino]

Best of luck, but be careful! Don't rush something

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I wish i could also just ctb today so that there would be not shit tomorrow full of suffering and torture by mental pain.

Do think you'll be afraid in the moment when you put the noose on your neck?
i ask because i think this will be a very difficult part saying finally goodbye from this life from this world forever…

Yep. I want to do it and I'm just too scared. A drug would be one thing but anything with even a little violence repulses me. Maybe I can think of it as dozing into the rope, relaxing into the rope.

 

[Exhausted546]

I wish i could also just ctb today so that there would be not shit tomorrow full of suffering and torture by mental pain.

Do think you'll be afraid in the moment when you put the noose on your neck?
i ask because i think this will be a very difficult part saying finally goodbye from this life from this world forever…

I mean I tried partial twice, it wasn't hard to do. I fucked it up tho cause I wouldn't pass out. My heart was beating so damn hard it felt like it was about to burst out my chest, I tried to endure but it got too much and I got up, my head was hurting like crazy, had difficulty breathing for an hour after that

Hopefully FSH goes better. And no,I didn't have any thoughts really aside that I wouldn't have to deal with my family's bs anymore not deal with being the shadow of my former self before trauma and all

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[Exhausted546]

I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

It won't be today sadly, for some reason my dad decided to stay at home instead of leaving for an hour around this time.

 

[A_Spartan_Dead]

The biggest decision ever should not be rushed.
Maybe take some time to re-evaluate your situation...

I mean I tried partial twice, it wasn't hard to do. I fucked it up tho cause I wouldn't pass out. My heart was beating so damn hard it felt like it was about to burst out my chest, I tried to endure but it got too much and I got up, my head was hurting like crazy, had difficulty breathing for an hour after that

Hopefully FSH goes better. And no,I didn't have any thoughts really aside that I wouldn't have to deal with my family's bs anymore not deal with being the shadow of my former self before trauma and all

Are you in stable housing (ie your parents own the home)?
If so, I know it's hard when family acts out around you, but maybe you can try putting up with it.
Homelessness is the worst no matter where one is in the world.

 

[Exhausted546]

The biggest decision ever should not be rushed.
Maybe take some time to re-evaluate your situation...


Are you in stable housing (ie your parents own the home)?
If so, I know it's hard when family acts out around you, but maybe you can try putting up with it.
Homelessness is the worst no matter where one is in the world.

I'll be out of housing in 3-4 months. I'm in final year of engineering school, have to start working part time to pay for my studies (no more student loan) and to find housing.

Honestly I can't be bothered with any of that (it's not the reason for my decision,not at all,it just accelerates things a bit) My life ended a decade ago,I've been a walking corpse since. The past decade was nothing but struggle,things will only get more difficult from now on

 

[A_Spartan_Dead]

I'll be out of housing in 3-4 months. I'm in final year of engineering school, have to start working part time to pay for my studies (no more student loan) and to find housing.

Honestly I can't be bothered with any of that (it's not the reason for my decision,not at all,it just accelerates things a bit) My life ended a decade ago,I've been a walking corpse since. The past decade was nothing but struggle,things will only get more difficult from now on

Similar story here, I finished eng school 1 degree 1Masters but haven't got a job in it for last 10 years and got a huge student debt. I'm also gonna be homeless soon. And the housing crisis in Australia is so bad, rents so high. Life is so hard and getting worsmmmm
It's just when you mentioned your dad was home I thought you lived with family still...

 

[darksouls]

however you decide,
I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[Exhausted546]

Similar story here, I finished eng school 1 degree 1Masters but haven't got a job in it for last 10 years and got a huge student debt. I'm also gonna be homeless soon. And the housing crisis in Australia is so bad, rents so high. Life is so hard and getting worsmmmm
It's just when you mentioned your dad was home I thought you lived with family still...

Damn I get you...do you currently have housing?

Also I live with my dad but he's selling the house in few months and moving back to our home country.

 

[A_Spartan_Dead]

Damn I get you...do you currently have housing?

Also I live with my dad but he's selling the house in few months and moving back to our home country.

I've been in public housing for 30 years, previously they used to let you get tenancy succession but not anymore too many Indians and Chinese with money coming into the country so they been selling them off. So now, after my mother leaves or passes (god I hope not) they've already told me they won't let me get it, citing their bs occupancy standards which they haven't enforced for about 50 years.
Now why would your dad sell the house? That's pretty stupid of him. In the middle of a housing crisis he's selling the one asset he should hold on to?!

 

[Exhausted546]

I've been in public housing for 30 years, previously they used to let you get tenancy succession but not anymore too many Indians and Chinese with money coming into the country so they been selling them off. So now, after my mother leaves or passes (god I hope not) they've already told me they won't let me get it, citing their bs occupancy standards which they haven't enforced for about 50 years.
Now why would your dad sell the house? That's pretty stupid of him. In the middle of a housing crisis he's selling the one asset he should hold on to?!

I'm sorry,that really sucks.

He doesn't want to live in Canada anymore and wants to return to our home country so he's selling the house.

In any case my back is against the wall and there isn't a way out anymore