Story I think I’m ready to do it

[crystalrope]

I'm about to turn 35 and I think I'm finally ready to hang myself. For the last 10 years I've been trapped in an extremely abusive marriage. He spend years tearing me down and raping me. I'm finally legally no longer his wife. But I feel like I'll never truly be free of him in this life. I just want to feel safe. I just want to not feel the shame and pain and fear anymore. I think I have a good enough plan. I think I'm going to try a fsh. I ordered a pull up bar that will hold my weight and some thick rope. I have some handcuffs so I can't try and safe myself. I don't know if I want to live to see my birthday or just rent a hotel room when my things come in and just end it finally.

 

[BlueMist96]

You shouldn't have to restrain yourself if this is truly what you want. I think you should take some time to think this over. Stay safe.

 

[crystalrope]

You shouldn't have to restrain yourself if this is truly what you want. I think you should take some time to think this over. Stay safe.

I have some more days before they get delivered. I'm thinking of just renting a hotel on my birthday and free myself

 

[Steph99]

I'm about to turn 35 and I think I'm finally ready to hang myself. For the last 10 years I've been trapped in an extremely abusive marriage. He spend years tearing me down and raping me. I'm finally legally no longer his wife. But I feel like I'll never truly be free of him in this life. I just want to feel safe. I just want to not feel the shame and pain and fear anymore. I think I have a good enough plan. I think I'm going to try a fsh. I ordered a pull up bar that will hold my weight and some thick rope. I have some handcuffs so I can't try and safe myself. I don't know if I want to live to see my birthday or just rent a hotel room when my things come in and just end it finally.

Really sad to hear your story. Is it possible to put off your CTB attempt to put more space between you and your abusive ex? The further in time away from might lead to things improving?

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find freedom from suffering.

 

[crystalrope]

Really sad to hear your story. Is it possible to put off your CTB attempt to put more space between you and your abusive ex? The further in time away from might lead to things improving?

He's becoming a stalker. I'm scared to leave the house. I'm scared when someone knocks on the door. I'm scared he'll just break in in the night. I'll never be free while I'm alive. I want to cbt on my own terms as a free single woman. I don't want to ever be touched again