I survived.

[coolliontigerragged]

God dammit. I tried overdosing on benzos and antidepressants. I know its a nonmethod, but I was almost successful!!!!! But I had to be saved. I had to be found. If they left me just a little more I could have left in the easiest way. I had two seizures. I wouldnt have even remembered. But no. My stupid self had to talk to my roommate and then have a seizure INFRONT of my roommate!!! Which prompted an ambulance and then badabing badaboom I'm saved. Hooray. Why couldnt they just let me go? Surviving this is honestly worse than just dying. And I still have to see my ex, the one that makes me want to leave and kill myself, every single day. He even saw me in the hospital for fucks sake. I'm just so upset.. I was so close!!!

 

[Pale_Rider]

Yes I survived an OD that was soon close also. The methods says ODs are a non starter for a reason.

 

[copioushopelessness]

God dammit. I tried overdosing on benzos and antidepressants. I know its a nonmethod, but I was almost successful!!!!! But I had to be saved. I had to be found. If they left me just a little more I could have left in the easiest way. I had two seizures. I wouldnt have even remembered. But no. My stupid self had to talk to my roommate and then have a seizure INFRONT of my roommate!!! Which prompted an ambulance and then badabing badaboom I'm saved. Hooray. Why couldnt they just let me go? Surviving this is honestly worse than just dying. And I still have to see my ex, the one that makes me want to leave and kill myself, every single day. He even saw me in the hospital for fucks sake. I'm just so upset.. I was so close!!!

What did they do in the hospital?

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Ok, well you just learned what not to do next time, that's all.

 

[coolliontigerragged]

What did they do in the hospital

Once I got there they did a CT scan of my head, gave me meds to stabilize me, and then I was in the ICU for three days. Afterwards I was put in the psych, but only for about an hour before the people at the psych said "hey.. you seem a lot more normal??? Wyd here?"

Ok, well you just learned what not to do next time, that's all.

Yeah! I'm trying to find a different method now though. While I did like that the seizures made it to where I didnt remember, I would prefer a method that works works, yk?

 

[coolliontigerragged]

Yes I survived an OD that was soon close also. The methods says ODs are a non starter for a reason.

What do you mean by non starter?

 

[Pale_Rider]

What do you mean by non starter?

As per the advise OD shouldn't be used.

 

[coolliontigerragged]

What did they do in the hospital?

Sorry that this is a bit of a much later response.. I am just now finding documents of what happened and I dont wanna leave you hanging incase you are curious as to what they would do in this situation. My last response was very fresh from the hospital full of anger and for some reason crazy people cant just get their records haha.

So from the looks of it I had TWO seizures. One before which prompted the ambulance for around 5 minutes, and one that happened when I got to the ER for ~30 seconds ish. They kept me in a neck brace (terrible experience btw) from the ambulance onward because my firsr seizure made me fall harshly on some concrete, leaving me with a concussion I am still dealing with.

From the blood and urine tests it TLDR says "yep! You overdosed on benzos and antidepressants! Yep! Your body is basically eating itself and doing ANYTHING to survive rn!!" So they did a lot of things which are as stated on my paper:
Lorazepam 1 mg IV and, I quote, "WAS LOADED" with levetriacetam 1000 mg IV.

What happened with poison control was "K >4 mg and Ca >10, serial EKGs, and 24 hr seizure monitoring." I dont really know what most of this means. I think blah blah blah chemicals do what yoh want with this. Honestly though the 24 hr seizure monitoring was awesome. They had these bed pads around me made of foam that made the hospital bed feel like a luxury suite!!

Then I talked with a social worker who basically said "yer crazy go to mental hospital. You can either go voluntarily for 3-5 days or you can go to court with me and I will get you in there for over a month <3" legally in my state, you cant go longer than 5-7 days depending on the place but to comply I took the voluntary route. I did leave AMA, but it was allowed and I was literally there for only an hour. My parents even picked me up.

Do with this what ye will.

 

[gardenhouse]

God dammit. I tried overdosing on benzos and antidepressants. I know its a nonmethod, but I was almost successful!!!!! But I had to be saved. I had to be found. If they left me just a little more I could have left in the easiest way. I had two seizures. I wouldnt have even remembered. But no. My stupid self had to talk to my roommate and then have a seizure INFRONT of my roommate!!! Which prompted an ambulance and then badabing badaboom I'm saved. Hooray. Why couldnt they just let me go? Surviving this is honestly worse than just dying. And I still have to see my ex, the one that makes me want to leave and kill myself, every single day. He even saw me in the hospital for fucks sake. I'm just so upset.. I was so close!!!

What anti depressants you took? And benzos? What's the dose? What did you feel when you thought you almost made it? I have those two drugs, i thought benzo OD can't kill you as benzo have been designed to be safe and just knock you unconscious for a long time but you will wake up again.

 

[coolliontigerragged]

What anti depressants you took? And benzos? What's the dose? What did you feel when you thought you almost made it? I have those two drugs, i thought benzo OD can't kill you as benzo have been designed to be safe and just knock you unconscious for a long time but you will wake up again.

So I had a LOT of different types of benzos and antidepressants because over the course of a year ish I got switched around a lot. Before then I dabbled with a little mixture of like 3-5 of each medication, but on that day when I did that I knew they would be taken away by a friend who didnt want me to die, so I hid a super full pill bottle with a cocktail of things + an anti nausea thing (I dont know the specific name.) Once I took that alongside what I took earlier, I was out like a light at 3 PM ish. I woke up at 10 PM, 2 AM, and 5 AM. And the 10 PM mark I was super crazily drugged out, and at the 2 + 5 AM mark I had this very crazy ringing in my ears.. almost like a train was going off in my ears or someone was blowing a million air compressors into my ears. Thats what mainly woke me up, but at the 5 AM mark it became unbearable. SI kicked in, and I asked my roomie to take me to the ER (albeit very drugged out,) and then the tale is old as time..

I had a very different amount of each medication, but here is a general list of everything I had:
Trazodone, 50 mg
Buspirone, 5 mg
Desvenlafaxine, 50 mg and 25 mg
Atomoxetine, 25 mg
Bupropion XL, 300 mg
Quetiapine, 25 mg and 50 mg
Methylphenidate, 18 mg
Fluoxetine, 20 mg
Ambien, 5 mg
Cyclonenzaprine, 10 mg

I hoped this information helped wether you're planning, just curious, or even here for the fun of it. I wish you peace no matter what you do

 

[gardenhouse]

Wow…. You have some really high dose there

I only have
Lorazepam 2mg
Esilgan (benzo) 1 mg

Is the ringing still there?

 

[coolliontigerragged]

Wow…. You have some really high dose there

I only have
Lorazepam 2mg
Esilgan (benzo) 1 mg

Is the ringing still there?

Oh sorry if I make weird wording mistakes.. finals.. what is listed is not the exact dose or what I took. Thats just everything I had from a year of being swapped constantly.. I had around 30-60 per prescription. On the list is just how much one pill is. I sadly cannot remember how much I took, but I know I took 2-3 "cocktails??"

I certainly developed a type of tinnitus after this and now have a very light ringing, but it only effects me when nothing else is going on sound wise. I just play ambiance music at night now. Static makes me have seizure like symptoms. Weird what this type of stuff can do to you neurologically haha! I think I am getting better though if you're looking at it from a "I wanna keep going" standpoint.

I am somewhat mixed on how I feel about still being alive, so from a "man this shit sucks" standpoint it has been a bit of a road now that its been almost a month. Physical therapy, having constant vertigo/dizziness just from slightly moving my head up and down (which has gotten better), tinnitus, seizure like symptoms- I genuinely would have died if SI didnt kick in and I honestly think I should have, but for some fucked up reason I am still here.

TLDR: ODing CAN work but it sucks butt if you survive, and for some people the aftermath can be a lot worse (permanent brain damage), but it does get better even a lil bit.

* I would use ODing alongside another method if you are certain on leaving.