I really wanna leave today but its impossible and its killing me

[Gomomon]

I had fully planned to go hang out with my friends and stop bed rotting/be trapped in my cramped tiny apartment but then I lost my keys and I just spiraled. Ive looked for 4 hours straight and Im just fully convinced I dropped them or some shit, I have ADHD so this happened everyday and all the time with everything I own and I cant get anything right. Now they're gotta have fun and im gonna sit here and fucking hate on myself ten times more. I was all dolled up and prepared despite sleeping till 6pm but nooooo, I dont get good things. Yesterday I vomited and had a panic attack, I felt so sick and nauseous, and I've been getting nightmares every night for the past week. Im in so much pain and its not fair I cant just leave. I had already ordered SN im just waiting for it to arrive but it seems it still at customs, now that I dont fucking have my key its not like I can Drive anywhere and jump off a building, plus its electric so no C02 poisioning! I would like to abuse something anything if it just gets me to stop feeling the way I am now but I HAVE NOTHING. I just loop and spiral all night and the pattern repeats, I have no money, no job, no motivation, I will soon have no friends cause it seems like they're sick of me, and no reason to keep existing here. I dont even have the courage or nerve to stab myself so I just Pussy out and sit here and rot every living day. I have so much hate for myself I just get headaches every day and nothing ever gets better. How can I go out tonight does anyone on this Earth have an answer can someone fucking drive here and blow my brains off or something, I cant purchase a Firearm because im on a 52/50. Just end me oh my lord why is this so hard.

 

[pechaberry]

If I could come scoop you and take you drinking with me I would :c Do you have money for a locksmith? They can come make a quick key for you! I had it done once. It was like $75 but that was 6 or 7 years ago.

 

[Gomomon]

If I could come scoop you and take you drinking with me I would :c Do you have money for a locksmith? They can come make a quick key for you! I had it done once. It was like $75 but that was 6 or 7 years ago.

Yeah sadly I want to do that but the key fobs for my car are 8OO+ dollars :(((, its one of those fancy ones. I really needed to get a tracker, currentlyI'm extremely broke I dont even know how I'm even living atp with these insane prices. Thank you though I appreciate the comment

 

[pechaberry]

Yeah sadly I want to do that but the key fobs for my car are 8OO+ dollars :(((, its one of those fancy ones. I really needed to get a tracker, currentlyI'm extremely broke I dont even know how I'm even living atp with these insane prices. Thank you though I appreciate the comment

Oh man girl I'm so so sorry :c I wish there was anything I could do to help. I'm also broke as a fucking joke or I would try to help. I hope you can find your keys. One time I left them in my fridge after putting groceries away. I also find them in hoodie pockets constantly.