• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

elpurp

elpurp

Member
Dec 29, 2024
6
i have vague memories of watching porn when i was younger, i'd say around 5/6. i didn't come back into contact with it until much later, around summer 2016. and ever since, it seems i can't go a full month without masturbating to pornography and i fucking hate it.

obviously, it's really fun in the moment, but the second it's over, i hate myself and wish that somebody loved me instead of porn. with the gooning severs i was in, it was basically the only way i can hear ppl tell me that they love me and that i'm attractive, and i really hate the fact that i had to show off my body/send porn to recieve that kind of attention. often times, i think abt ctb because that seems to be the only way i can truly be free of it.

at my lowest, it's the only thing that keeps me alive.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
  • Love
Reactions: Grog, esalucolom-wojaqter, kunikuzushi and 12 others
imtiredasf

imtiredasf

Member
May 23, 2025
61
Hey, you ain't alone. I went through some sexual trauma when I was younger and it completely fucked up how I form relationships and everything like that. I'm sorry that you're in the situation that you are. If you want to talk through shit sometime, the offer's here.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: botanormal, dearlydeparted44, GlassMoon and 2 others
monetpompo

monetpompo

૮ • ﻌ - ა
Apr 21, 2025
237
in my crazy depression spirals i just lay in bed and jerk off. i haven't been hooking up since last year, but it's the same experience you had in your gooning servers. i loved getting called attractive by random people and having people tell me they liked me. it feels really good to get complimented by other people but it hurts when they inevitably drop me since you usually only hook up once. i'm not hypersexual now but i used to be. i just like how masturbating still elicits the same feelings it used to when i was younger even though everything else in my life changed.
 
  • Hugs
  • Yay!
Reactions: Grog, myucore, Crematoryy and 3 others
elpurp

elpurp

Member
Dec 29, 2024
6
in my crazy depression spirals i just lay in bed and jerk off. i haven't been hooking up since last year, but it's the same experience you had in your gooning servers. i loved getting called attractive by random people and having people tell me they liked me. it feels really good to get complimented by other people but it hurts when they inevitably drop me since you usually only hook up once. i'm not hypersexual now but i used to be. i just like how masturbating still elicits the same feelings it used to when i was younger even though everything else in my life changed.
i mean, i've thought abt hooking up with ppl but i can't pull anybody in the first place lol
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: usernamesarehard and botanormal
monetpompo

monetpompo

૮ • ﻌ - ა
Apr 21, 2025
237
i mean, i've thought abt hooking up with ppl but i can't pull anybody in the first place lol
so real
it's easy to pull if you're gay and/or feminine. if i were to try to hook up with girls i think they would all ghost me lol
 
  • Love
Reactions: botanormal
graysme

graysme

Member
Aug 31, 2024
32
It's a terrible feeling. I used to be in gooning servers too, fishing for that kind of attention. I now have a partner so I don't do that anymore, but hypersexuality doesn't go away as soon as you get with someone, at least not for me. I'm afraid it can cause me problems in the long run. We just have to deal with this shit for the rest of our lives :D
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: Grog, kunikuzushi, monetpompo and 2 others
imtiredasf

imtiredasf

Member
May 23, 2025
61
It's a terrible feeling. I used to be in gooning servers too, fishing for that kind of attention. I now have a partner so I don't do that anymore, but hypersexuality doesn't go away as soon as you get with someone, at least not for me. I'm afraid it can cause me problems in the long run. We just have to deal with this shit for the rest of our lives :D
I sincerely frigging hope it's not for the rest of my life, but with time and effort, maybe it can get better and eventually dissipate.
 
N

notreallybored

Experienced
Nov 26, 2024
262
ב''ה, y'all missed out on when dating was possible, and 'hyper' was multiple times a day, not this promise ring Puritan stuff. That said, for the guys among you at least, you may be preventing prostate issues and otherwise it's a lot of tristesse and ridiculous fixations.

Once you pass 40 the urge dies quick. Do with that what you will.

Also look into what Levirate marriage actually is if you want to feel better about occasionally having a bodily function, the sin was not looking after a widow and creating a lineage, not goo coming out, though technically Jews are supposed to choose between that and praying at certain times as can set back religious studies and make you look stupid if you're in the tribe; pragmatically, it's really a good idea not to touch a delicate hand copied scroll with sticky fingers so a decent amount of it may come down to that and hoping you get into reproductive marrying.

Hope this helps.

If you're trying to calm it down beware of "ADD" meds and bupropion etc., things that enhance the reward function or allow getting tweaked/stuck on the activity. But the "what was the point of that" is so natural there is that "tristesse" word for it.
 

Similar threads

ykoizy
Replies
12
Views
499
Suicide Discussion
TemporaryJob
TemporaryJob
PaleSwrdsmn
Replies
9
Views
569
Suicide Discussion
LetMeOut67
LetMeOut67
The Actual Devil
NSFW CENTIPEDES
Replies
10
Views
445
Offtopic
-nobodyknows-
-nobodyknows-
Lavínia
Replies
6
Views
576
Suicide Discussion
hankly
H