Venting I really am just a nobody

[maidens]

I wish I was more creative
it's really hard for me to think of anything good when I'm working on my projects and I just end up getting frustrated and giving up
everyone else is more creative than me and can think of so many cool things
I always feel jealous when my friends share the things they make with me because they're so good and my friends are so creative and smart
they always compliment me on the things I make but there's really no way to know if they're lying or not
I'm not proud of what I have made and thought of
maybe if I was more creative I wouldn't always be at last place
for as long as I can remember I've been at last place
everyone is better than me at everything, im always the one at fault, im the odd one out, im the most irrelevant person in all my groups and im always left out
at least, if I had some more talent I would be better than at least a few people
but there's nobody I can even begin to compare to
it really really really really really hurts and I don't know why me why is it me why is it always me what did I do to deserve any of this this is hell ivelived a life of helland im tired of it all

 

[derpyderpins]

I don't know you or your work, but it can't be that everyone is better than you. The sad truth is that the vast majority of us aren't good enough in creative pursuits to make a dent or stand out at all. Almost everyone is forgettable and replaceable, including me and most likely your friends as well. I think I'm supposed to say that you should pursue things for yourself and not for validation from others, but I understand wanting that validation as well.

 

[Kismet]

Imposter syndrome is a thing that prevents us from believing compliments. Nothing is ever good enough, people are lying, etc. It's a spectrum as well so maybe you are in it? The compliments from your friends may be valid, but you can't accept them

 

[fleetingnight]

I know how you feel. Though, it's important to try to remember that your work will always seem more boring and less creative to you, since you came up with it, so you already know all the details/where it's going, if that makes sense

 

[pyx]

feel the same way, though i have no reference for what a creative individual is in the modern world. i wish that i could create something material instead of posturing possibilities in my mind.