I realized one reason family and such hate a person who ctb.

[V0latile]

It's because they view it as an inconvenience. And they call us selfish. I fucking hate them.

 

[MeltingHeart]

It's because they view it as an inconvenience. And they call us selfish. I fucking hate them.

That's how I feel- and the amount of anger, disdain & digust directed at me for wanting to take my own life is unreal- is it any wonder that I wanted to in the first place! With so much hatred directed at me ( it was there before- but even more now they know I want to ctb) they want to stop me to protect themselves- from burden of guilt & what others will think, and to protect other family members from having to deal with the "upset" NOT because they care or want to protect me in anyway, they loathe me too much for that- but I wish in that case- they would let me go! And stop blocking me!! It makes no sense

 

[V0latile]

That's how I feel- and the amount of anger, disdain & digust directed at me for wanting to take my own life is unreal- is it any wonder that I wanted to in the first place! With so much hatred directed at me ( it was there before- but even more now they know I want to ctb) they want to stop me to protect themselves- from burden of guilt & what others will think, and to protect other family members from having to deal with the "upset" NOT because they care or want to protect me in anyway, they loathe me too much for that- but I wish in that case- they would let me go! And stop blocking me!! It makes no sense

I wish I could ctb without leaving a note behind. It'd be a perfect ending, but if I do then i'll end up on the missing person's list, etc. My parents are the only ones I care about hurting and no closure would destroy them. The rest can go the rest of their lives wondering what happened to me. Fuck em