I probably wont end up CTB I'm brave like you guys and I have strong survival instinct and there is nothing really wrong with my life i have money health etc I could live a good life but I'm tired of always ending up back in the same place I'm not really sure why I'm here as if I'm not actually going to CTB then its just wasting time.
At least its a good community here not full of dickheads like most of the internet and maybe I can help out a person or 2 but I am a fraud really because I'm most likely not going to do it. Although I do have some comfort in learning how and maybe one day if I am terminally ill or something I might be brave enough who knows.
I have wasted my good health let myself become weak my body waste away I am so weak for a 39 year old man I am more like a girl in terms in physical strength which will only get worse with age. If I was young there would be a chance I think there is always a chance when you're young but when you're old you're done.
At least I can talk freely with the "counsellors" etc there is always a risk they will break confidentiality for safety. A helpline sent the police to my house for a welfare check I told them I was ok and to cancel the police but they said its not their problem anymore so they wont get involved. So I called the police they said we wont come because there is nothing in the system but sure enough they still came so much for confidentiality.
I'm pissed off at the crappy counsellor years ago that took my money and recommended unlicensed unproven supplements and a book called the Celestine Prophecy. WTF how does that help? I let her get away with it because I was young and naĂŻve.
I can go out and enjoy my life but if it always come back to tiredness and depression is there any point.
If I try to enjoy myself it will be with degenerate stuff like sex which probably isn't great for me long term.
Maybe I can help a few people on here just a little at least thats something.
At least its a good community here not full of dickheads like most of the internet and maybe I can help out a person or 2 but I am a fraud really because I'm most likely not going to do it. Although I do have some comfort in learning how and maybe one day if I am terminally ill or something I might be brave enough who knows.
I have wasted my good health let myself become weak my body waste away I am so weak for a 39 year old man I am more like a girl in terms in physical strength which will only get worse with age. If I was young there would be a chance I think there is always a chance when you're young but when you're old you're done.
At least I can talk freely with the "counsellors" etc there is always a risk they will break confidentiality for safety. A helpline sent the police to my house for a welfare check I told them I was ok and to cancel the police but they said its not their problem anymore so they wont get involved. So I called the police they said we wont come because there is nothing in the system but sure enough they still came so much for confidentiality.
I'm pissed off at the crappy counsellor years ago that took my money and recommended unlicensed unproven supplements and a book called the Celestine Prophecy. WTF how does that help? I let her get away with it because I was young and naĂŻve.
I can go out and enjoy my life but if it always come back to tiredness and depression is there any point.
If I try to enjoy myself it will be with degenerate stuff like sex which probably isn't great for me long term.
Maybe I can help a few people on here just a little at least thats something.
Last edited:
