Siamese Believe
Student
- Dec 8, 2025
- 136
I was very close to finally executing my plan and being done with this all, I very well could've been dead right now as I'm making this post. But then something happened.
My house was contacted and apparently I've been approved for disability benefits despite previously being denied. I was told to be expecting a card to come within 3 weeks or less, it's a decent amount of money too. This whole thing feels like a devil luring me into its trap.
Now I still do want to die, and this is too damn long of a wait. My mom said it's unlikely to take this long. And I hope like hell it won't. I hope I get it this week or the next, but that's wishful thinking.
I want to die so fucking bad, but It has been so long since I've had any money. It's incredibly difficult to get a job with my conditions.
I've postponed my escape until I can at least get some enjoyment out of this money. Every single day is now made even more painful than before because I know what's coming and how out of reach it is.
I feel every passing nano second, I feel the complete weight of my existence. Time itself is dragging me by my ankles.
It has been so painfully long since the last time I've felt a good French fry in my mouth, I need the taste before I go. I've had to eat shit food for so long. I deserve to be compensated for my decades of agony.
My house was contacted and apparently I've been approved for disability benefits despite previously being denied. I was told to be expecting a card to come within 3 weeks or less, it's a decent amount of money too. This whole thing feels like a devil luring me into its trap.
Now I still do want to die, and this is too damn long of a wait. My mom said it's unlikely to take this long. And I hope like hell it won't. I hope I get it this week or the next, but that's wishful thinking.
I want to die so fucking bad, but It has been so long since I've had any money. It's incredibly difficult to get a job with my conditions.
I've postponed my escape until I can at least get some enjoyment out of this money. Every single day is now made even more painful than before because I know what's coming and how out of reach it is.
I feel every passing nano second, I feel the complete weight of my existence. Time itself is dragging me by my ankles.
It has been so painfully long since the last time I've felt a good French fry in my mouth, I need the taste before I go. I've had to eat shit food for so long. I deserve to be compensated for my decades of agony.
