gunmetalblue
Suicidal Jesus
- Oct 31, 2025
- 352
-Amongst other unplanned turns of events this NYE I was driven back home my a friend this afternoon. We were 3 in the car, me and my two closest friends. All of us tired, hungover and for me still inebriated.
While taking a intersection to turn left, a car that was speeding ran a red light. I was in the front passenger seat, daydreaming. Gently easing out of my previous dissociation, letting the alcohol keep me calm. I saw the opposing car approach down the road before it even all happened, the headlights caugh my attention. Said to myself at that speed a crash would be fatal. Then the traffic stop turned red, my and friend turned left.
But the headlights kept getting closer from the side. And I knew we were about to collide. For a single second I said to myself: I am going to die.
So I put one hand on the steering wheel and yelled for my friend to hit the brakes. The opposing car passed the same second, only grazing against the front boot, but with enough force to send the vehicle into a spin. Everyone was panicking and my friend driving started crying and I was stoic almost feeling like my soul left my body.
I tell myself I acted to save my friends lives, not mine. But still I feel oddly distasteful towards the entire thing. I'm activity suicidal. Yet when given the perfect opportunity, I saved my own life. Again. Maybe it was instinct, maybe somewhere in my mind it was not to include others in my death wish. But yeah.
Otherwise take this as a little reminder to drive safe. If not for yourself, for the passengers and other cars.
While taking a intersection to turn left, a car that was speeding ran a red light. I was in the front passenger seat, daydreaming. Gently easing out of my previous dissociation, letting the alcohol keep me calm. I saw the opposing car approach down the road before it even all happened, the headlights caugh my attention. Said to myself at that speed a crash would be fatal. Then the traffic stop turned red, my and friend turned left.
But the headlights kept getting closer from the side. And I knew we were about to collide. For a single second I said to myself: I am going to die.
So I put one hand on the steering wheel and yelled for my friend to hit the brakes. The opposing car passed the same second, only grazing against the front boot, but with enough force to send the vehicle into a spin. Everyone was panicking and my friend driving started crying and I was stoic almost feeling like my soul left my body.
I tell myself I acted to save my friends lives, not mine. But still I feel oddly distasteful towards the entire thing. I'm activity suicidal. Yet when given the perfect opportunity, I saved my own life. Again. Maybe it was instinct, maybe somewhere in my mind it was not to include others in my death wish. But yeah.
Otherwise take this as a little reminder to drive safe. If not for yourself, for the passengers and other cars.
