Venting i miss the people who used to be on this site when I first joined

[katara]

the chat used to be so alive and everyone there was interesting. Everything feels less alive now, more drama, less jokes. I've always felt like an OutKast on here and now even more, I feel like people just make accounts from that stupid YouTube video. They didn't find this site from searching for a safe place to talk about dark thoughts, they joined bc of a troll YouTube video. And with that, there's more troll-like people. Maybe I'm just getting older. I feel like everything really just gets worse as time goes on. All the best people commit suicide, and the worst people stay and try to start problems because they aren't here for the same reason.

TLDR: IM OLDER

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

Do you remember Queer? They kept the chat alive and booming. I remember Alessa too, and Billie along with Cali. The good old days :(

 

[406cap]

Did they succeed at ctb?

 

[katara]

Do you remember Queer? They kept the chat alive and booming. I remember Alessa too, and Billie along with Cali. The good old days :(

All that comes to my mind is queer melancholy. I'm not sure if I know those others. Maybe I knew them and just forgot. But ya, it just feels weird. I shouldn't still be here. I was feeling nostalgic because there's this stupid clique in the chat now, there was never anything like that before. I miss the original people who actually made this site something I felt like logging on for. I'm starting to lose it Why do the good people die? It's so unfair. they were just replaced by people 100x worse.

 

[Upon a hanging Body]

This is a suicide forum so people are going to most likely commit suicide, sometimes people get better and move on with their lives too.

I've lost a lot of decent friends on here and as much as I'd like to message them again , they did what they wanted and found peace.

 

[katara]

Did they succeed at ctb?

I'm not sure, we didn't talk off this site. I'm sure some may have improved and left. Idk, I just wish I could have left too. I got called a bitch and other rude stuff earlier, that wasn't a problem a year ago. I just feel like that stuff wouldn't have happened before. That's why I'm sad

 

[willitpass]

This is a topic of conversation that comes up every few months on here. It is the nature of a site like this that people will come and go, often rather quickly. People either CTB or go off to try and recover. It's not very common for people to stick around, those that do tend to feel somewhat out of touch because we are the ones who either can't go through with CTB for one reason or another or have failed to do so successfully. But at the same time, this isn't a site for making friends. The dynamic will often shift, but at the end of the day it's meant to. This isn't social media. It isn't X or Instagram. It is a suicide site.

 

[9uerencia]

i feel the same way, OP
even though i only joined back in january (on a different account before it got deactivated), it's still sad seeing people come and go

 

[Quiabo1]

You know... It's quite sad to read this. I'm new here but it sounds like you saw this place evolve, but it is supposed to be transitory, temporary. No one will stay here for too long, nor were they supposed to... either because they try to live on with the things they have left to cling on, or because they'll get to successfully CTB
When I have dark thoughts I also get unproductive at job cause the weight of suicide shatters me, but I still have got to earn something for my family, joking about it makes me clear my head just enough to keep going on.
Eventually I'll get to CTB too

 

[-Link-]

I've always felt like an OutKast on here and now even more

This feeling will be a lot more common among members than what outward appearances might suggest.

You are far from alone in this.

It's not very common for people to stick around, those that do tend to feel somewhat out of touch

Can confirm!

 

[katara]

This is a topic of conversation that comes up every few months on here. It is the nature of a site like this that people will come and go, often rather quickly. People either CTB or go off to try and recover. It's not very common for people to stick around, those that do tend to feel somewhat out of touch because we are the ones who either can't go through with CTB for one reason or another or have failed to do so successfully. But at the same time, this isn't a site for making friends. The dynamic will often shift, but at the end of the day it's meant to. This isn't social media. It isn't X or Instagram. It is a suicide site.

Ya I'm sorry for a generic post. Btw it's nice to see a familiar person I do remember you from way back bc of your pfp. I guess I just had a bad experience today. It seems like people are more mean and rude than usual. It threw me off bc I didn't expect such treatment on a site like this yknow? I wish I was nicer to the nice people, bc now I miss them. I just feel sad bc I can't find any help irl and now I am feeling like I can't come here anymore

 

[mundanejane]

i feel the same way, many i knew are gone bc of ctb or just disappeared… i feel like an outsider even here now ..

 

[katara]

i feel the same way, OP
even though i only joined back in january (on a different account before it got deactivated), it's still sad seeing people come and go

People come and go, I wish I could. I love ur pfp, it's really pretty. I always wondered why we can't take good photos of the moon.

 

[Hellis]

I accidentally set someone off and they took their life later that night. I no longer remember her name, but when I did I would check to see if she ever came back each week. I still would if my brain didn't block it out or whatever

 

[Worndown]

People come here searching for an end.
Some find others that share their issues and learn ways to cope or overcome.
If successful, they move on.
Some find what they were looking for and pass.
A small number return to living under a bridge where all trolls should be.

 

[_Gollum_]

There are definitely people in my "cohort" from when I first joined that I miss: @ijustwishtodie (RIP -- still feel his absence everytime I come on here), @sserafim, @INTJme (RIP), @anhedonya, @ForgottenAgain to name a few

 

[katara]

This feeling will be a lot more common among members than what outward appearances might suggest.

You are far from alone in this.


Can confirm!

Hey I've seen you before in replies to my posts you are very nice to always respond. Thanks for being here. I have been feeling alone bc there were a bunch of rude people in the live chat recently and so I was just wondering where everyone else went. I don't blame them for leaving, everyone has to eventually. I just think being around terrible people can affect us mentally and I wish the terrible people would go. It's hard enough that they exist irl, when I come online I don't want to deal with people trying to start drama and remind me of middle school bullies yknow?

i feel the same way, many i knew are gone bc of ctb or just disappeared… i feel like an outsider even here now ..

I'm sorry to hear that I feel like an outsider too like so many ppl here have jobs, friends, supportive family, it makes me feel like I don't belong here anymore

 

[caramelkidney]

i agree with this. for a long time before creating an account, i lurked this forum, but i would have to take breaks because i kept seeing the same threads over and over again. it made me feel worse and not better.

 

[Young.Werther]

There are definitely people in my "cohort" from when I first joined that I miss: @ijustwishtodie (RIP -- still feel his absence everytime I come on here), @sserafim, @INTJme (RIP), @anhedonya, @ForgottenAgain to name a few

Oh @sserafim caught a ride out? Good for them. Hopefully found peace.

OP I know what you mean. For me I try to focus on the fact that these people got where they wanted to be and that's a good thing.

 

[_Gollum_]

Oh @sserafim caught a ride out? Good for them. Hopefully found peace.

As far as I know she hasn't CTB'd, just left the site

 

[hazelmoon]

I've been on here for a while and never knew there was a chat besides personal chats. Is this something we have to unlock??

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've been on here for a while and never knew there was a chat besides personal chats. Is this something we have to unlock??

I'm not sure if it's open to all initially but, click on the speech bubble icon in the top bar, next to the search function magnifying glass. There are different chat 'room' tabs too.

I miss certain members too OP. But then, like others have said, it's the nature of it I guess. People coming and going. There's every chance though it could work in reverse. Someone could join next week say, that you feel a real connection to. Plus, if individual members are triggering you, the 'ignore' button is your friend.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I was here for several months when SaSu first started, that was the best time for me. Now that I've come back, nearly everyone I knew is gone, and the ones I've seen that are still here, I have not attempted to contact.

Used to be we all knew why we were here, but it seemed we had more fun cracking jokes and carrying on. We had our serious times with helping others, or going through our own issues. I guess the bullshitting around helped us to take our minds off our personal demons.

When all 100 to 200 of us were online, we were a giant happy family.

 

[hazelmoon]

I'm not sure if it's open to all initially but, click on the speech bubble icon in the top bar, next to the search function magnifying glass. There are different chat 'room' tabs too.

I miss certain members too OP. But then, like others have said, it's the nature of it I guess. People coming and going. There's every chance though it could work in reverse. Someone could join next week say, that you feel a real connection to. Plus, if individual members are triggering you, the 'ignore' button is your friend.

I don't have that option the only thing next to my search bar is a lightning strike

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I don't have that option the only thing next to my search bar is a lightning strike

Might need a few more posts to open up chat.

 

[katara]

As far as I know she hasn't CTB'd, just left the site

Good to know, I've seen her around so she definitely made an impact on this site.

I've been on here for a while and never knew there was a chat besides personal chats. Is this something we have to unlock??

Ya it's the thing near the lightening bolt where u can talk to anyone on the site, near the bell icon. It's blocked for new users.

 

[sweetcreep]

to be honest, i stay away from the chat, the few times i went to try and talk, i was put off by the vibe there. figured it just wasn't my thing.

i tend to think of @Plato'sCaveDweller and @athiestjoe sometimes. they both provided so many resources and amazing discussions. they both ctb in the same month, and after that the forums felt so empty for a while. i'm so happy that they're both at peace, but i always had wished that i took the opportunity to speak with them. two very smart people who were also very pleasant to have in the community.

 

[katara]

to be honest, i stay away from the chat, the few times i went to try and talk, i was put off by the vibe there. figured it just wasn't my thing.

i tend to think of @Plato'sCaveDweller and @athiestjoe sometimes. they both provided so many resources and amazing discussions. they both ctb in the same month, and after that the forums felt so empty for a while. i'm so happy that they're both at peace, but i always had wished that i took the opportunity to speak with them. two very smart people who were also very pleasant to have in the community.

There used to be some nice people, recently there's been a bunch of assholes tho and it really put me off. I can't understand why someone would come onto this site with barely any interactions and be mean to me like they know me at all. I feel like they did it bc they looked through my account and saw that I have no friends. It felt like legit childhood bullies. Now I'm just looking at this site differently. Something changed here, it's different.

 

[brokeandbroken]

the chat used to be so alive and everyone there was interesting. Everything feels less alive now, more drama, less jokes. I've always felt like an OutKast on here and now even more, I feel like people just make accounts from that stupid YouTube video. They didn't find this site from searching for a safe place to talk about dark thoughts, they joined bc of a troll YouTube video. And with that, there's more troll-like people. Maybe I'm just getting older. I feel like everything really just gets worse as time goes on. All the best people commit suicide, and the worst people stay and try to start problems because they aren't here for the same reason.

TLDR: IM OLDER

I joined roughly a year after you and come here off and on depending on how things are in my life. Definitely less often then more of late. I never saw the video and found it organically actually. But I think it was around the same time as the video so maybe it influenced the Google algorithm or something.

Sorry people are bullying/being mean etc... That's super shitty. Especially here given everyone is going through something.

 

[Raindancer]

There used to be some nice people, recently there's been a bunch of assholes tho and it really put me off. I can't understand why someone would come onto this site with barely any interactions and be mean to me like they know me at all. I feel like they did it bc they looked through my account and saw that I have no friends. It felt like legit childhood bullies. Now I'm just looking at this site differently. Something changed here, it's different.

I am sorry you had some bad experiences. This is the last place you'd expect that or need that to happen, I've been here years now, lurking a long while before joining and feel the same. I think when we are new and searching, we kind of depend on those who've come before us. Trusting they know a little more than we do. In time that shifts and we learn and experience more and of course as people move on either with CTB or getting better. I experience this as well sometimes way stronger than at others.

For me, someone above mentioned that it's supposed to be that way here and I had never thought of it like that. I mean I obviously knew people would leave, but I wasn't thinking about those of us left behind. Changing how I view Sasu, as a stop over, a place to be for a time, that is it's purpose, may help me in those times when I wish it was like it used to be.