Venting I miss my friends so much

[CelesteLove]

Today 5 years ago I lost all of my friends due to my mental instability. On November 2020, I had my first attempt in the middle of the pandemic. That coupled with me having a different personality randomly (I have no Idea why I have a different personality every day but I digress), all my friends slowly stopped talking to me, and my two best friends blocked me everywhere. I miss them so much. I don't really know what to do, I tried to move on, to get new friends, but it's not the same. I get so sad when I remember their friendship, and regret all the bad things that I did to them unknowingly. I wish I was a better friend, a better person. I feel like I'm Jinx from Arcane, when she killed her friends — I mean, I didn't kill anybody — but the feeling of betraying them is the same.
I might just CBT someday to try to stop feeling like this.
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[Karrikin]

Today 5 years ago I lost all of my friends due to my mental instability. On November 2020, I had my first attempt in the middle of the pandemic. That coupled with me having a different personality randomly (I have no Idea why I have a different personality every day but I digress), all my friends slowly stopped talking to me, and my two best friends blocked me everywhere. I miss them so much. I don't really know what to do, I tried to move on, to get new friends, but it's not the same. I get so sad when I remember their friendship, and regret all the bad things that I did to them unknowingly. I wish I was a better friend, a better person. I feel like I'm Jinx from Arcane, when she killed her friends — I mean, I didn't kill anybody — but the feeling of betraying them is the same.
I might just CBT someday to try to stop feeling like this.
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I'm in the same spot, you obviously can't replace them and it's a long process to get over them. Which sometimes, that doesn't even happen --at least, I won't, I think. Friendship is a complicated thing despite it seeming so simple honestly. But I hope everything goes well for you, whatever it is you end up deciding.

 

[CelesteLove]

I'm in the same spot, you obviously can't replace them and it's a long process to get over them. Which sometimes, that doesn't even happen --at least, I won't, I think. Friendship is a complicated thing despite it seeming so simple honestly. But I hope everything goes well for you, whatever it is you end up deciding.

Thank you, I hope that everything goes well for you too.

 

[Codename_Joryu]

I was extremely transphobic when I was a teenager and it led to me losing a lot of beloved people too, because I constantly made fun of one trans person in my friend group and everyone else there turned their back on me and removed me from their life. It's been over 5 years and I still haven't been able to get over it, even to this day I sometimes have dreams of us talking again and it makes me want to cry. One stupid attempt at trying to look cool will probably cost me the rest of my life living with regret.

It's really hard to move on, but it's possible. The best thing you can do is just learn from your past mistakes and never repeat them again. I hope you will find people who'll make you feel loved and appreciated again.

 

[kufajoy]

I don't think it's your fault though. Normal people always avoid us if they found out we did attempt or have mental issues.

If you want we can text each other and spend some time. Hope you feel better. Sending love

 

[CelesteLove]

I was extremely transphobic when I was a teenager and it led to me losing a lot of beloved people too, because I constantly made fun of one trans person in my friend group and everyone else there turned their back on me and removed me from their life. It's been over 5 years and I still haven't been able to get over it, even to this day I sometimes have dreams of us talking again and it makes me want to cry. One stupid attempt at trying to look cool will probably cost me the rest of my life living with regret.

It's really hard to move on, but it's possible. The best thing you can do is just learn from your past mistakes and never repeat them again. I hope you will find people who'll make you feel loved and appreciated again.

I'm glad that you grew as a person, I hope that everything goes well for you

I don't think it's your fault though. Normal people always avoid us if they found out we did attempt or have mental issues.

If you want we can text each other and spend some time. Hope you feel better. Sending love

Thank you! And yeah I could use new friends, I'm open to talking but I'm kinda shy.