it seems like you found someone that does appreciate you so maybe they can change that (hopefully).
yes
may you feel loved,
@emptymiku 
.
Anyway, not much I know about romance so can't say much else other than I hope all goes well for you. Make the most of it and enjoy each others presence, maybe something might come of it. (Also, I wouldn't put it as them "dealing" with you, their actions show the contrary from what I'm reading)
I absolutely agree. He very much enjoys to deal with you, and sees it as a lovely liberty, from what we all can see :).
Maybe you're just in shock about being actually loved. Where your self says "No way someone could
really loves meâthis has to be a ruse." Yet, reality may be more shocking than fantasy! Dream freely ⼠feel all the things you love to feel.
I want to share with you these fine lyrics from The Doors.
Take it easy, baby
Take it as it comes
Don't move too fast
Yeah, you want your love to last
Oh, you've been moving much too fast
Anyways, I'm going to advise you on this, on how one should handle this grand and fascinating sensation.
The fox and the grapes. The fox makes a mistake: the fox loses nothing by scorning grapes out of reach, but by smearing their attractive aura with a false promise of sourness, the fox closes themselves off from being able to pluck and taste (lovelily) grapes that may come into the reach of them in the future. We scorn ourselves by telling ourselves we won't get love; not because we hate ourselves and want to suffer, but rather the contrary, because we want to feel more eased about our situation, to want to feel at
peace.
But what peace do we have when beauty and love find us, and we feel undeserving of them?
Throw that word "deserve" out of your vocabulary. I never found it does anyone any good.
You can rest assured knowing you
do make him happy. It's very clear he derives great and honest enjoyment from even just
being around you :). Think about it! Just
existing around you, he enjoys it greatly! ^^ Platonically or not, that is doubtless a fine fine phenomenon for him ^u^
(indeed love shines through in all coloursâthe difficulty to distinguish is testimentality to the university of the shades from which all the loves and curiosities bloom out fromâwhatever love he has for you, it is a beautiful oneâwe get caught up in the taxonomy of "romantic" and "platonic", but at the end of the day, whatever Rome or Plato would say of our loves, it is a beautiful and unmistakably human phenomenon, regardless of all what people of any age or ages say under the sun, in moonlight, in their own heads, out loudâlove shines through it all, and in comes in countless spectrums and harmonies amd frequencies and shades; all of them beautiful, all of them fascinating.)
I completely resonate with your 'fear of being discovered'. What if they take great insult for it? What if they want to draw away, and feel this implication burns to the touchâwhat if they withdraw into that cold of unwanting? But you should know that in loving friendshipâunmistakably foreign to raw strangerhoodâthat there are many kinds of ties and attractions pulling and keeping people together; and that people only feel conflicted when faced with suspections of romanticism because they
have genuine desires and appreciation for the connectionâand they fear complication and distance as well, just as you: they fear disappointment and letdown, just as you: they fear the dampening of bright light, just as you: they feel the fear of misfolding the love, into a form that moves too far away from the free liberty that they love to feel and continue to experience in continual blossom, just as you. People fear change, just as you.
Many people take no offense whatsoever to romantic attractions themselves; most offense is only derived from discomfitting and invirtuous behavior, that makes a person feel morally ignored, and disrespected. This is only for those people who express love in ways that are not tasteful nor careful, but inappropiate, in such ways that show a
lack of care and consideration, that display an ugly selfishness¡ rather than a beautiful extrospection. People want to feel
seen. And heard. I recall now I read an account of a person, they were on a date, and their date was staring at their face as they talked, so much so that it'd prompted them to ask "Are you even listening to me?" to which they replied "I just think you're really pretty." So this person had ignored their mind in favor of their face, focused too much on the mouth themself rather than the words it they were creating: thus negating respect, through selfishness.
However, people such as you, who are so taken to consideration¡ so much so that¡ you are willing to put yourself aside, practically never fall into such mistakes, and indeed keep themselves heightfully vigilant of such falls. With your intense conscience of others' respect, you habitually honor people to the highest extent that you know as most truly right. You seek to be the finest of company; and people of your caliber often quite candidly are. Your thoughtfulness does not go wasted in the slightest, and though the people you talk with may not be able to communicate it in the evermost of detail, I want to express to you that even if they struggle to express it, that your dear person and the people you know and love who hold you dear
are very much so touched by your thoughtfulness
.
No one can truly doubtlessly decipher whether you have a crush on them without explicit knowledge. People can only guess. An increasing number of people are becoming aware of the fact that signs of romantic attractionâlike any emotionâcan manifest very differently in different people. Can be displayed by very different signs. Can be expressed in many varying ways. Like the same note played on many different keyboards, it makes a different sound; and so people only have curiosities, most of the time. And most of the time people don't mind it all that much, and may even attribute it to other things, as well.
There is no shame in romantic attraction. Now, I know you are very scared of expressing romantic emotions to him, in fear of pushing him away. But there are many healthy, beautiful, and subtle ways to express these emotions, in a tasteful manner that will not repel him nor make you feel you are stepping outside of your comfort zone. Allow yourself to make "subtle gestures" that subtly indicate you deeply care about him. These can be little things, these can be anything you like, any colour you like, anything that you like the idea of. It can be offering him little gifts, it can be telling him you really appreciate the way he talks, or the things he talks about, his taste in clothing or art or music orâanything, really. When I was asking a good friend of mine about this, he sent me a list of possible little romantic signals one could try, that are not invasive or too forward, but are subtle and healthy ways to express subtle indications of interest in a subtle manner. I could send you the list if you'd like. I think it could be a good thought provoker to help you think more about how you could express yourself and how you can learn to bridge the gap between your life and your internal emotions :).
i guess i've just never really felt of myself as being worth anyone's attention. it's not something i could really work past or that i need to change, just my nature. but i hope i can manage to make him happy, even if he'll never be romantically attracted to me.
While it's good to accept all outcomes; you need to be
ready for all outcomes, and realize that there
is a possibility in both ways. I'm not saying that I know for sure whether he does or does not have a crush on you; I just think that you should think to yourself "I don't know if he is into meâhe may not be into me, but, he might potentially be into me, as well".
Perhaps his care that he has expressed towards you, the happiness that has lit across his face when he sees, interacts, with you, is proof that you
are worth people's attentions, and moreover that you in the end aren't even the judge of whether you are worth people's attention, but that
other people will feel how much they value your attention. In other words, even if you personally suppose that you aren't worth people's time, people may meet you and find great value in the time you share with them, and decide for themselves that you
are worth their time. Occam's Razor is a way of finding truth (an "epistemological razor"), that offers this idea. The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is where we should start. I'll give an example. Imagine you are hungry for a glass of milk, but then you see the jug in the fridge is empty. You
could theorize that you had poured all the milk into the middle of nowhere and then woke up the next morning and completely forgot about it, thus explaining the empty milk jug,
or you could theorize that you had drank it all and forgotten about it, forgetting to buy another one. Both are completely possibleâone just requires more assumptions than the other. The one which requires more assumptions is less likely; and more likely explanations must be disproven before the more complex explanations are explored.
Do you meet people and love them? It's quite easy. I do it all the time. And you have done it too. (Hence the love for this person you have expressed in this here post.) Other people feel and grow love and appreciation like this too. People meet people and like them, enjoy their company, and develop lovely bonds and growing connections as they learn more and more about each other, with growing curiosity and tender time. Even if the love he has for you may not be called "romantic" now, I think you should not exclude the possibility. I'm not saying you should bank your life on itâit's healthy to embrace that some things may not happenâbut at the same time it's also really hard on ya to bank on the conviction that it's
"never" gonna happen. Continuously saying "no" to things you really really want, to yourself, is disappointing yourself before the possibility has the chance to reveal to you whether it's possible or not. It's lovely to enjoy the magic of what might potentially be, and I can't say I've ever regretted prematurely closing off that "what if" magic aura that perfuses the air of romance. Please enjoy this to the fullest extent. I hope that you two grow very close and I hope you two truly develop a secure and lovely bond. Even if that bond might be platonic, as well. I think it will be healthy for you to embrace your emotions of romance, and realize that this is something that practically every human being on the planet feels for other people that they meet and care about. Your development of romantic emotions does not at all undermine the care you have for this person. You probably cared about him in a platonic way at first, and then the feelings grew and grew into something more romantic. That's OK. Feelings come. It's OK to have feelings. These feelings have the potential to make
you feel happier in
your life, make
him feel happy as well, and they don't need to be regarded as a threat to your life, happiness, or social bonds in your life. There are ways to manifest these emotions in ways that strengthen and invigorate the connection you have with his person, and such ways that allow these intense feelings to colour your
whole life with colour and love and light rather than hatred and darkness and difficulty. This is fuel. Holy fuel, that you can express in many different ways. Some of them are outward and careful, some of them are inward and intense. There are many ways to manifest this romantic energy in your soul you feel right now, and for your sake truly, I hope you find most passionately the way to manifest them in your own life that makes
you feel most giddy and excited and at peace, serene, ever curious, and
truly, in the light of love. Whatever shade and colour that love may take. :)
Omnia vincit Amor: et nos cedamus Amori.
Love conquers all: let us too surrender to love.
â
Virgil
