Lou_Charthethird
A lifeless husk
- Dec 19, 2025
- 16
I would have the most intense crying, the most painful feeling inside me constantly anxious with no one to turn to. I found a sanctuary kind of in my interests and a passion for drawing(even though it led to more anxiety since i was nowhere near as talented as others) it was awful, that was for sure, but it doesnt compare to this limbo that im in currently. I dont rven think anymore or feel anymore, i cant even conceptualize what that wouldbe like to feel or think normally, to look inside and to *want* something or to *feel* something. I genuinely cannot comprehend it. Its insane honestly. Its like i was so emotionally charged and then it all disappeared, my only chance at life. Even if it made me a depressed its SOMETHING. I just want a fucking chance. I want to feel hopeless and lonely and scared because that means that that im me. I want to cling on to the little things, i want to cry again, i want to write all those things i wrote about myself, even if it fostered what i had. I just want to be me again. But even saying that doesn't feel real. Id give anything truly to either die or to be back to when i was 13 before this happened. I want to feel real. I can even understand that life is still happening past when this started happening. Its like everything just stopped in place. Therapy, psychiatry, or anything of the sort doesnt help. The objectively best or worst thing could happen to me and it wouldnt even faze me. I am a husk of a human. I am just acting like i am one of you people but im not. Im nothing.
