I live the same day everyday

[katara]

it's really not healthy

 

[Macedonian1987]

My life is pretty similar like yours. Like a song put on an endless repeat. The stop button is probably my SN lol

 

[unluckysadness]

Same. Waking up is a nightmare

 

[katara]

My life is pretty similar like yours. Like a song put on an endless repeat. The stop button is probably my SN lol

I can't do the sn method but I'm sorry ur struggling. I've seen you make comments on other posts and you seem like someone who would understand my situation better. Recently a guy on here was extremely rude to me and idk why people come on here just to be creepy! I am dealing with enough.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I can't do the sn method but I'm sorry ur struggling. I've seen you make comments on other posts and you seem like someone who would understand my situation better. Recently a guy on here was extremely rude to me and idk why people come on here just to be creepy! I am dealing with enough.

I think that for someone to truly understand you, this person has to go thru (or is going thru) the similar torment that you are going thru right now. Many people may say they understand you, but until they walk in your shoes, they have no idea how it feels to be totally hopeless.

 

[Hollowman]

Same here, I've almost completely lost my mind.

 

[Ligottian]

Pretty much the same here.

 

[itsgone2]

Same. Nothing is improving. Just more proof of how fd I am. Need to end this.

 

[Mr. Snrub]

Same.

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

for the past several months ive been doing the same shit everyday. like literally the exact same

 

[Tobacco]

I've been asking myself, "Is this really all there is to life?" And it's saddening.

 

[kitkat9234]

Everyday is a fucking Groundhog Day nightmare yet somehow something always happens to make everything worse. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I just want to blow my fucking brains out.

 

[idiotmother]

Everyday is a fucking Groundhog Day nightmare yet somehow something always happens to make everything worse. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I just want to blow my fucking brains out.

Same here wish it was easier for us

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Same with me. Every day is torture.

 

[Sunset Limited]

Same here. My mom is 75 years old with chronic diseases. Everyday is same but strangely enough, I'm fine. My routine is as follows:

- Wake up and drink coffee.
- Make breakfast.
- Wake up my mom and give her medication.
- Breakfast. My mom's medication.
- Dishes.
- Shop for dinner and other necessities.
- Play the guitar.
- Dinner (my mom makes it)
- Dishes.
- Play the guitar.
- Web surf for 3-4 hours before bed.
- Sleep.

Every day is like this :)

 

[Terrible_Life]

it's really not healthy

Me too but I see a light in the darkness and that is my hanging set up….I think soon I'll use it.

 

[Ashes of a Dreamer]

I've been asking myself, "Is this really all there is to life?" And it's saddening.

Same, unfortunately. And I continue asking: "Do I want to live this life, knowing it's all that there is for me?" The answer is my presence here.

 

[katara]

Same, unfortunately. And I continue asking: "Do I want to live this life, knowing it's all that there is for me?" The answer is my presence here.

I want to believe this isn't all there is for me

 

[SaintJosifStalin]

Try listening to a new type of music or reading a different book.

 

[katara]

Same here, I've almost completely lost my mind.

Ya I constantly worry about the long term side effects

Pretty much the same here.

its really scary bc I have nobody to reach out to and talk to who will help me

 

[AltF4Mylife]

Same :(

 

[WakingNightmare]

Yeah same, and I don't rate it lol

 

[katara]

Same. Nothing is improving. Just more proof of how fd I am. Need to end this.

I'm sorry to hear that I know how u feel. Things haven't improved for me since I joined this site.

Same.

I like that gif that's funny

 

[Jorvak]

it's really not healthy

Hey i remember talking with you before, glad you're still around to talk with! If we go by the social expectations our ultra humane capitalist overlords impose upon us, which relegate human worth to how much someone can produce short term profits, then yea my life is a trainwreck going by their dystopian metrics of "success".

that's especially so because autistic people are marginalized in every arena of life, if you don't conform as a cookie cutter employee who can make short term profits and have extra needs to be accomodated for, they don't want you, you are deemed a liability and less than a person, because so many neurodivergent people have needs that most people don't need (everyone has needs, but neurotypical needs are accomodated for by default, because they are the dominate neurotype).


Even the interview process is a social game which are meant to marginalize people who are neurodivergent or have significant disabilties. given how stressful social interactions already are for me, to be put into that situation to where i have to meet a certain 'social' expectation beyond mere competency is downright oppressive and profoundly inconsiderate.

I believe all that should be abolished, people should be valued inherently, and have all of their needs met, regardless of who they are, without any expectation imposed upon anyone.

While for most of my life i have been chronically depressed, i live by the principle that this dystopian society does not govern social expectations for myself, i can set my own expectations for myself. even though that still means my life is still a relative train wreck with, atleast the difficulties that this entails are things i have control over, which is really important to me, rather than dealing with things that are suddenly imposed upon me.

 

[littlecutecorpse]

fair enough. on weekdays i'm forced to go out and do shit, come home, and bedrot for the night. on weekends it's purely bedrotting + dealing with my parents + feeling like a lonely miserable shithead. as matter of fact, i feel like a miserable shithole everyday, who can only sulk and further ruin my life than to fix my shit. i'm exhausted, i've given up. and i know nothing will get any better in the future, so i can't be bothered to stay alive to see those years any longer.

 

[Jorvak]

fair enough. on weekdays i'm forced to go out and do shit, come home, and bedrot for the night. on weekends it's purely bedrotting + dealing with my parents + feeling like a lonely miserable shithead. as matter of fact, i feel like a miserable shithole everyday, who can only sulk and further ruin my life than to fix my shit. i'm exhausted, i've given up. and i know nothing will get any better in the future, so i can't be bothered to stay alive to see those years any longer.

That's really fucked up, and in many ways i relate a lot to your experience, except i don't have to regularly deal with people face to face. My relationship with my parents isn't bad presently, but i used to have major problems with my evangelical mother, how she would treat me and others was infuriating, but she's gotten a lot better.

What i find extremely inhumane is that people are forced to live under demeaning and dystopian social expectations. I've put a lot of thought about societal and social expectations over the years. i truly believe we need a society where people are allowed to find their own meaning in life while having all their essential needs met, and if that meaning happens to create passions that involve taking on a job that maintains society, or doing something else that may not directly maintain society, but they are passionate, then they are both valid and both valuable, but absolutely nothing should be forced. of course this is all incompatible with capitalism heh.

Whatever you do, i truly hope you can find some measure of peace. the fact that for so many people, CTBing is seen as the only escape route, is the indication of a failed society, that has been unable to address the needs of not just people in general, but everyone with specific needs (like neurodivergent people, etc). Nobody should be forced to live while having their very real needs unaddressed, and yet that's the disgustingly inhumane mentality and the fake moralism our society upholds around CTBing. "you should be forced to live, but we shouldn't have to address your needs, treat you with dignity or humanity at a basic level, or help each other out". that in itself is an oppressive social expectation!

I wish you the best that you can possibly be in this dystopian nightmare.

 

[ilovenoodles]

I feel the same way, it's like an endless cycle, but I don't think I'd wanna see it progress either yk

 

[katara]

for the past several months ive been doing the same shit everyday. like literally the exact same

Same but it's been longer for me.

Everyday is a fucking Groundhog Day nightmare yet somehow something always happens to make everything worse. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I just want to blow my fucking brains out.

Sometimes I want things to be better bc I have seen terrible ppl who have good lives and I wonder why I didn't get those things.

Same here. My mom is 75 years old with chronic diseases. Everyday is same but strangely enough, I'm fine. My routine is as follows:

- Wake up and drink coffee.
- Make breakfast.
- Wake up my mom and give her medication.
- Breakfast. My mom's medication.
- Dishes.
- Shop for dinner and other necessities.
- Play the guitar.
- Dinner (my mom makes it)
- Dishes.
- Play the guitar.
- Web surf for 3-4 hours before bed.
- Sleep.

Every day is like this :)

I always try finding entertaining things to watch online but even now that's hard. It's mostly just distractions not good entertainment. YouTube specifically sucks and hasn't been good for years.

 

[KlMeNw]

Hey i remember talking with you before, glad you're still around to talk with! If we go by the social expectations our ultra humane capitalist overlords impose upon us, which relegate human worth to how much someone can produce short term profits, then yea my life is a trainwreck going by their dystopian metrics of "success".

that's especially so because autistic people are marginalized in every arena of life, if you don't conform as a cookie cutter employee who can make short term profits and have extra needs to be accomodated for, they don't want you, you are deemed a liability and less than a person, because so many neurodivergent people have needs that most people don't need (everyone has needs, but neurotypical needs are accomodated for by default, because they are the dominate neurotype).


Even the interview process is a social game which are meant to marginalize people who are neurodivergent or have significant disabilties. given how stressful social interactions already are for me, to be put into that situation to where i have to meet a certain 'social' expectation beyond mere competency is downright oppressive and profoundly inconsiderate.

I believe all that should be abolished, people should be valued inherently, and have all of their needs met, regardless of who they are, without any expectation imposed upon anyone.

While for most of my life i have been chronically depressed, i live by the principle that this dystopian society does not govern social expectations for myself, i can set my own expectations for myself. even though that still means my life is still a relative train wreck with, atleast the difficulties that this entails are things i have control over, which is really important to me, rather than dealing with things that are suddenly imposed upon me.

So what then, communism?

That's really fucked up, and in many ways i relate a lot to your experience, except i don't have to regularly deal with people face to face. My relationship with my parents isn't bad presently, but i used to have major problems with my evangelical mother, how she would treat me and others was infuriating, but she's gotten a lot better.

What i find extremely inhumane is that people are forced to live under demeaning and dystopian social expectations. I've put a lot of thought about societal and social expectations over the years. i truly believe we need a society where people are allowed to find their own meaning in life while having all their essential needs met, and if that meaning happens to create passions that involve taking on a job that maintains society, or doing something else that may not directly maintain society, but they are passionate, then they are both valid and both valuable, but absolutely nothing should be forced. of course this is all incompatible with capitalism heh.

Whatever you do, i truly hope you can find some measure of peace. the fact that for so many people, CTBing is seen as the only escape route, is the indication of a failed society, that has been unable to address the needs of not just people in general, but everyone with specific needs (like neurodivergent people, etc). Nobody should be forced to live while having their very real needs unaddressed, and yet that's the disgustingly inhumane mentality and the fake moralism our society upholds around CTBing. "you should be forced to live, but we shouldn't have to address your needs, treat you with dignity or humanity at a basic level, or help each other out". that in itself is an oppressive social expectation!

I wish you the best that you can possibly be in this dystopian nightmare.

The problem with your sentiment about everybody just doing whatever interests them is no one would choose to do the hard, gross, or underpaid jobs. Society would then collapse. Capitalism is not perfect, especially when it gets perverted into croney capitalism, but it has been responsible for lifting the most people out of poverty and raising the standard of living across the board, more so than any other form of economics. So it's essentially the best we've got.

 

[katara]

fair enough. on weekdays i'm forced to go out and do shit, come home, and bedrot for the night. on weekends it's purely bedrotting + dealing with my parents + feeling like a lonely miserable shithead. as matter of fact, i feel like a miserable shithole everyday, who can only sulk and further ruin my life than to fix my shit. i'm exhausted, i've given up. and i know nothing will get any better in the future, so i can't be bothered to stay alive to see those years any longer.

Same I am lonely everyday. Constantly tired. My mom unfortunately makes things worse. I feel completely trapped and have no way to escape. I hate sulking everyday. I feel so useless.