
waqs
my meaningless existence
- Sep 9, 2025
- 13
i have this online friend, one of my only real friends in this world and he plans on killing himself. he's already talked about buying sn to me, hes even offered us to commit together. i wish i could accept is his offer but im just not in a situation that can allow me to die. im so scared for when that day comes, i know he will and theres nothing i can do about it besides be there for him. i know its selfish to want him to not because i know hes suffering, but i dont want to be truly alone again. i dont want to exist in a world where im not by his side, i dont even know how to come to terms with this future. i want to beg him not to, beg him to please try and find the help he needs but i dont want him to burden himself by living just because im selfish. i dont know what to do, all i feel is dread, counting down the days until get his final goodbye.