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Member
- May 17, 2026
- 5
Today, I failed my final exams in my last year of college. I submitted a paper that was completely off-topic. I won't get a passing grade, and there's a real risk that I could fail the entire year and have to repeat it. The worst part isn't even the failure itself, it's the fact that the papers aren't anonymous, so the professor will see how stupid and incapable I am. I think I'm going to get the worst grade in my class. Tomorrow I have another exam that I'll probably fail too, and then I'll have an oral exam where I'm going to humiliate myself because I'm just a loser, a stupid, lazy failure who deserves to die.
I hate growing up. My whole life, people told me I was some kind of genius just because I taught myself how to read and was interested in philosophy and things like that. But now it's over, and every year I fail more and more. I just want to die so it can stop. It's too painful and humiliating to watch my own downfall like this. I can't even kill myself because it would seem so pathetic. People would just say, "She killed herself because she failed an exam?" But the truth is that failure is just the external proof that I'm fundamentally worthless.
I'm not sociable, not pretty, not athletic. The only thing I've ever been good at is thinking. That made me feel different and even superior to other people. I wasn't alone because I am unbearable, but because I was too intelligent for anyone to understand me. And now I'm nothing.
I'm so afraid.
I hate growing up. My whole life, people told me I was some kind of genius just because I taught myself how to read and was interested in philosophy and things like that. But now it's over, and every year I fail more and more. I just want to die so it can stop. It's too painful and humiliating to watch my own downfall like this. I can't even kill myself because it would seem so pathetic. People would just say, "She killed herself because she failed an exam?" But the truth is that failure is just the external proof that I'm fundamentally worthless.
I'm not sociable, not pretty, not athletic. The only thing I've ever been good at is thinking. That made me feel different and even superior to other people. I wasn't alone because I am unbearable, but because I was too intelligent for anyone to understand me. And now I'm nothing.
I'm so afraid.
