Venting i just don't understand how people have the energy to keep going

[thecoldest]

most of the time i am so exhausted. basic things like hygiene seem to be too much. every day we have to get up, and eat, and do something to not go insane and i just don't understand how some people do with such ease. for example, i look at my mom and can't imagine being in her shoes. maybe i think this way because i am not currently working, only studying, but it makes me thing if when the day where i have to work finally comes, will i really have the energy for it? we have to live, make money just to keep existing and it's so tiring. well, i am alive too and i keep living day by day, but i do it in a half-assed way. i wanted to have the motivation, you know?
i'm sleepy most of the times too and i don't have any health conditions or stuff like that for that to happen, i just am tired all of the time, and i am tired of being tired. these days i wrote two short stories and after a long time i felt alive, by doing somethig i like, but i can't write all of the time (even if i wanted that to be possible). i don't know, i guess this is just a vent and something that someone probably already discussed here, so sorry if it seems repetitive, i just wanted to share this feeling somewhere. if you feel the same way please leave a comment, i would like to interact with more people! :)

 

[overmorrow]

they are delusional, and scared of death, that's why, sometimes being that afraid will force you, to go forward, they don't live for the experience, they live for the dopamine obtained through the hard obstacles you encounter everyday

 

[thecoldest]

they are delusional, and scared of death, that's why, sometimes being that afraid will force you, to go forward, they don't live for the experience, they live for the dopamine obtained through the hard obstacles you encounter everyday

ah, i wish i were afraid too then... but i guess i can kind of understand it, not feeling that dopamine is hell, i can say that because i definitely don't feel it myself. still seems a bit paradoxical to live that way hehehe.
thanks for the reply!

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's definitely something I wonder about. Do those people all find it easy? Where do I sit on the scale of finding it difficult? When is it so difficult we can be justified in claiming it's something we 'can't' do?

For me personally, it's varied quite a bit in life. I worked in retail for ten years. Mostly part time to be fair. But, I hated that. It used to feel agonising going in to work, and being at work. It was such a struggle. I'm not certain I was ever really enthusiastic about going in to a work place. Even when I started doing jobs I at least had more interest in.

For me, it was having a very strong work ethic grilled into me. Plus, this pressure that I musn't become a financial burden on my parents. The shit I'd get from that felt worse than complying I suppose. I wouldn't assume people find it easy though. It's just that the alternative might seem even worse!

Now though, I've been freelance and worked from home for many years. A couple of years back, it looked like I would need other work to supplement myself once more and, it was predictably horrendous to be in a new environment again, having to work with others and learning new skills.

It's a massive dread for me now- that I may need to return to that some day. As it is- I at least get to manage my time. So long as I reach my deadlines, I'm ok.

Even 'normies' can struggle and vary in their compliance though. Someone I worked with once was normally fairly upbeat but, they would often struggle returning from a holiday to settle back down. I know loads of people who are/ were massively dissatisfied with work. One in three at my friend's workplace were on anti-depressants!

It likely depends somewhat- how much pressure they are under to support themselves. I'm not sure people find it easy though.

 

[Sleepwalkuntilsane]

I feel very similar to this! I've struggled with getting out of bed and even after getting a lot of sleep feeling tired. That can be a symptom of depression (for me it was). I personally don't have any medical conditions that effect my energy levels directly but I do have a close friend with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. She has said that what helps her is to make sure to do as much as you have energy for. If you don't have enough energy to brush your teeth, chew a stick of gum and things like that. But always do something, it feels worse if you do absolutely nothing. What helps me is talking to people (part of why I'm here) and going on walks/ being in nature. I've struggled with getting up in the morning and going to college and work every day, but the only way to get better at something is to do it.

 

[violetforever]

maybe i think this way because i am not currently working, only studying, but it makes me thing if when the day where i have to work finally comes, will i really have the energy for it? we have to live, make money just to keep existing and it's so tiring.

i'm only studying too and i think about the same thing. i want to live alone and have my own life away from my family but i'm not sure if i have the will for it.

 

[derpyderpins]

i just am tired all of the time, and i am tired of being tired.

I feel that deep down inside.

People have different needs, capacities, optimal conditions, etc.

One way to think about it is like a day-to-day budgeting thing. We eat, sleep, mentally relax/decompress, etc: energy goes up. We prepare meals, do housework, perform a job, etc.: we use energy.

Say Person A's routine gives them 10 energy per day. They use 1 making meals, 2 on housework, and 5 on their job. That gives them +2 at the end of the day to work on a project or hobby, self-improve, let loose in some way, and so on. They could save up 10 extra a week to burn on projects on the weekend.

Say Person B is a little different. Maybe they have some chronic health issues that means they only get 8 energy per day (could be a physical or mental illness/condition, or just some other quality that makes them naturally a little less energetic). Maybe they aren't a good fit for their job (could be due to, eg, neurodiversity) so the job takes 7 energy per day.

Wait . . . Person B is now using 1 on meals, 2 on housework, 7 on job . . . that's 10, but they only have 8 per day, so it's -2 every workday. Now, most of the weekend is used trying to take some back. They get 8 - 1 - 2 = +5 x 2 = +10 on Saturday/Sunday, but all of that is needed to get through another work week. If they try to force themselves to work on a hobby or something that takes some energy, now they're negative for that week.

On the daily scale, I didn't really change much. If you saw Person A and Person B together they wouldn't seem that weirdly different on any given day. But now think of it month after month, year after year. Person A is getting something like +10 to 15 extra per week while Person B is breaking even or losing. The point is that you aren't defective or alien compared to other people for not being a match for the grind. Life relies on thin margins, so slight variance can throw the system out of whack.

In an ideal world, Person B would be given an easier job, or allowed to change their working conditions in a way that could lessen the load on them, but our outcomes are pretty cookie-cutter: 9-to-5 or worse. Those are the hours. Forever.

I feel you. I'm also tired of being tired.

 

[Hellis]

Redbull, ibuprofen, and gaslighting yourself.

Then you have some 60 year old woman tell you how your habits will actually kill you and despite the evidence to support that it's all you have left you still let those words eat away at you and drown in your own trauma as you remember you'll never be good enough or whatever.

 

[Pluto]

 

[thecoldest]

It's definitely something I wonder about. Do those people all find it easy? Where do I sit on the scale of finding it difficult? When is it so difficult we can be justified in claiming it's something we 'can't' do?

For me personally, it's varied quite a bit in life. I worked in retail for ten years. Mostly part time to be fair. But, I hated that. It used to feel agonising going in to work, and being at work. It was such a struggle. I'm not certain I was ever really enthusiastic about going in to a work place. Even when I started doing jobs I at least had more interest in.

For me, it was having a very strong work ethic grilled into me. Plus, this pressure that I musn't become a financial burden on my parents. The shit I'd get from that felt worse than complying I suppose. I wouldn't assume people find it easy though. It's just that the alternative might seem even worse!

Now though, I've been freelance and worked from home for many years. A couple of years back, it looked like I would need other work to supplement myself once more and, it was predictably horrendous to be in a new environment again, having to work with others and learning new skills.

It's a massive dread for me now- that I may need to return to that some day. As it is- I at least get to manage my time. So long as I reach my deadlines, I'm ok.

Even 'normies' can struggle and vary in their compliance though. Someone I worked with once was normally fairly upbeat but, they would often struggle returning from a holiday to settle back down. I know loads of people who are/ were massively dissatisfied with work. One in three at my friend's workplace were on anti-depressants!

It likely depends somewhat- how much pressure they are under to support themselves. I'm not sure people find it easy though.

makes sense! i also don't think people find it easy, they probably just keep going. but i do think it is harder for some people, though. life is very tiring indeed, and it sucks that we have to work to keep living and to not feel like a burden. thanks for answering and sharing your experience!

the only way to get better at something is to do it.

yes, i've been learning that! i know the only way is to just get up and do it, but sometimes it is so hard T__T. will keep trying tho! thanks for your answer <3

i'm only studying too and i think about the same thing. i want to live alone and have my own life away from my family but i'm not sure if i have the will for it.

i totally understand! i am very afraid that when the day comes i just... can't do it on my own. if it feels so tiring right now, when i don't have that many responsibilities imagine it when i do have. but i guess that's life. maybe no one is ready, but they learn to be. maybe it just seems scary because it's new. well, i'm not sure yet, but i hope it works out for the both of us! thanks for the reply, wishing you the best <3

The point is that you aren't defective or alien compared to other people for not being a match for the grind

thank you so much for saying that! it is very sad that some people just have less energy than others, i think that is my case. you explained very well, thanks for the reply! wish you the best <3

Redbull, ibuprofen, and gaslighting yourself.

Then you have some 60 year old woman tell you how your habits will actually kill you and despite the evidence to support that it's all you have left you still let those words eat away at you and drown in your own trauma as you remember you'll never be good enough or whatever.

that sucks... but i get it. sometimes the only way to have energy is to succumb to unhealthy methods. hope you are well, though. sending good energies your way, bud!

 

[derpyderpins]

Redbull, ibuprofen, and gaslighting yourself.

Then you have some 60 year old woman tell you how your habits will actually kill you and despite the evidence to support that it's all you have left you still let those words eat away at you and drown in your own trauma as you remember you'll never be good enough or whatever.

This is my relationship with psych meds.

Yes, nosey person, I agree it's best not to be on them. I'd like to not be on them.

Also, the things you are supposed to do.

Yes, I agree I should exercise. Yes, I agree it would be better if I took a mental health day.

But the expectation is that I work my full-time job as if I were neurotypical and never stop producing.

The world can't get it all from me, and the priorities are clear that the preference is for an unhappy, unhealthy Derp who produces work product relatively on schedule.

 

[itsgone2]

i just don't understand how some people do with such ease.

I guess it depends on what you mean by the other people. If you mean, other suicidal people, and if they're good with energy than I agree, I don't know.

But if you mean the average person then that's easier. In college and about my first 10 years working, I had excessive energy. It was easy to get up, do something, then go to work, then come home exercise cleanup work on stuff do things with friends or family or whatever. Just nonstop no issue.

But then my first bout was suicidal thoughts yeah then you have depression and bed rotting, and all this mess where you just don't care about anything because what's the point?

But I never asked what the point was before that. It didn't matter you just did things. Life was just what it was you don't question it

Eventually, I got better, but I have always had this thing in the back of my mind like, but the world doesn't really make any sense. There's not really a point to all this. So I knew what it was like, but then you start to get back into normal routines and you just forget about things again.

But now my situation is worse than ever for many reasons and I don't see getting back out of it, but life seems super pointless so hygiene and cleanliness of your house things like that, like who cares?

But I remember what it's like to be normal because I've had it twice and you just get caught up in your day and do things. Suicide doesn't even remotely enter the equation. I used to hate going to bed and sleeping because I had so much I wanted to do. Now I just want everything to be gone. The world has both people in it, we're currently with the unlucky ones.

 

[LoveroftheDark]

Redbull, ibuprofen, and gaslighting yourself.

Then you have some 60 year old woman tell you how your habits will actually kill you

So true! Especially the energy drinks part. I'm so sad that they have become a luxury of some sorts in my country, it was the main thing that kept me going afterall. I rarely mix Paracetamol with energy drinks as it tended to cause derealisations, but oftentimes taking a tablet that had already been caffeinated solved this problem.
Other substance I liked to use is alcohol, but I had major issues with my liver in the past and I stopped. Nicotine gave me enough dopamine too, but it is expensive as well. I might try pouches in the future, they are known for being cheap, at least cheap enough.
I hate when people who have enough motivation to do a 10-step skin care routine tell me, a depressed and heavily tired person, that I live my life unhealthily, and it will come stab me in the ass, despite it being my only hope.

most of the time i am so exhausted

Me too. I feel like I barely stay afloat on top of my current responsibilites despite having them significantly lower than other people my age. I keep on trying to impress people, on trying to be more social and care about everyone, but it is destroying me from the inside. I'd really like for life to stop moving, or at least slow down, but the spiral keeps on getting faster and faster and my head is exploding.

I like the fact that at the end of the thread you encouraged us to reply, it really made the atmosphere here more friendly. Hope life will be easier on all of us! :')