lavenderlilylies
Student
- Sep 24, 2024
- 142
In 2023 or so i planned on going on the 30th of nov 2025. I picked a method and marked my calendar. But I was looking ahead, there were things I felt I needed to do. Plus, i was and still am scared of taking that final step.
I thought I had ample time to make peace with death. But as the date approaches, I'm getting doubtful. I have nothing to look forward to anymore, nothing to wait for, and no time to waste. I have to go soon, I don't want to hang around any longer than I need to. I wish I was just a little stronger.
I'm hoping for a breaking point soon, for things to get so bad that it overpowers my fear. It's the direction my life is headed towards anyway, but I'm afraid it'll continue to be bad, yet bearable enough. I want to go, I'm so tired of being alive
I thought I had ample time to make peace with death. But as the date approaches, I'm getting doubtful. I have nothing to look forward to anymore, nothing to wait for, and no time to waste. I have to go soon, I don't want to hang around any longer than I need to. I wish I was just a little stronger.
I'm hoping for a breaking point soon, for things to get so bad that it overpowers my fear. It's the direction my life is headed towards anyway, but I'm afraid it'll continue to be bad, yet bearable enough. I want to go, I'm so tired of being alive
