Venting I hope I have cancer

[prettyclam]

Ironic since its breast cancer awareness month. There's been a lump in my chest for awhile but recently it's began growing and hurting this dull heavy ache, like its pressing on something. Even without touching it hurts. It's not visible on the outside either. I have to press to feel it, however it hurts more when doing that.

Realistically, the lump is probably a random cyst because I doubt someone as young as me could get cancer. I strangely wish it was though, then I wouldn't have to commit suicide. My body would die for me. The only downside is the long painful process.

I don't want to get the lump checked out because I'm already in debt. A simple screening would take everything I have. Even if it was just a cyst, I'd have to get surgery or something, which would absolutely drain my money.

I'll let it keep doing its thing. I'm so depressed that I'm actually wishing its cancer lol

 

[IDCAAEBM]

I've been trying to get cervical cancer for the past 20 years, and I think I've been successful. In 2020 they did a biopsy on my cervix(worst fucking pain of my life) and then asked me back to poke and prod and hurt me more. I refused care and 5 years later, not much has been going on. I did notice some red spots on my nose that won't go away that I'm sure is from using tanning beds.
I'm going to go get my skin checked out, and if it's for sure cancer, I'm going to go back to my primary care provider and say, "Hey look, I have acquired two separate types of cancer, may I have an assisted euthanasia now?"
It should be clear from my lack of care of myself that I'm serious about my request, but if they want to be assholes about it, my CTB plan will work out regardless.
I just want them to know how much I hate being alive, so when the time comes, they will have no reason to ask "why?".

 

[TBONTB]

I totally relate to that.

Of course you are right, chances are it's something other than cancer...like you said a cyst or something. I hope it gets better soon, sounds uncomfortable.

Cancer isn't an easy death, as you know. So I hope it's not that either.

Good luck, feel better

 

[IRHEXED]

I'm in the same boat, sort of... I'm in the early stages of liver cirrhosis. I've completely stopped all communication with the hospital regarding bloodwork, scans and medication.
I'm still drinking in the hope it'll get to a point where it's totally irreversible.

 

[prettyclam]

I'm in the same boat, sort of... I'm in the early stages of liver cirrhosis. I've completely stopped all communication with the hospital regarding bloodwork, scans and medication.
I'm still drinking in the hope it'll get to a point where it's totally irreversible.

Sounds painful...dying that way sucks, but I hope it works out for you. If my lump cyst cancer thing gets bad enough that my parents somehow notice, I'll be set on refusing treatment too, even if they're the ones paying for it (which they never will)

 

[TBONTB]

How long have you had this symptom?

 

[prettyclam]

I totally relate to that.

Of course you are right, chances are it's something other than cancer...like you said a cyst or something. I hope it gets better soon, sounds uncomfortable.

Cancer isn't an easy death, as you know. So I hope it's not that either.

Good luck, feel better

Yeah cancer isn't easy but its a lose-lose situation. Cyst, cancer, everythings painful. I have no choice but to take whatever it is

How long have you had this symptom?

The lump itself began around 2 years ago. It was small so idk when exactly it came. Now its bigger, taking up about half the size of my breast. The pain started a week ago.

 

[IRHEXED]

Sounds painful...dying that way sucks, but I hope it works out for you. If my lump cyst cancer thing gets bad enough that my parents somehow notice, I'll be set on refusing treatment too, even if they're the ones paying for it (which they never will)

Yeah, it's not ideal. I'm treating it kinda as a plan B. I've been lurking on SS looking for a way out for a little while and have seen a couple of methods that appeal to me, I'm just a complete bag of nerves when it comes down to it XD
Well I hope you find your peace, whatever happens!

 

[TBONTB]

Yeah cancer isn't easy but its a lose-lose situation. Cyst, cancer, everythings painful. I have no choice but to take whatever it is

The lump itself began around 2 years ago. It was small so idk when exactly it came. Now it's bigger, taking up about half the size of my breast. The pain started a week ago.

Yeah, get it...pain either way. Wishing you the best.

That's a long time and a big lump/cyst.

I assume you've been doing your googling or your own little AI diagnoses. I am sorry this is going on for you.

Do you feel normal otherwise? Extra tired or anything?

 

[58Alice85]

more and more young people have been getting cancer
hope it is not cancer for you! dying from cancer is slow and painful

 

[WildecoyetE]

more and more young people have been getting cancer
hope it is not cancer for you! dying from cancer is slow and painful

yes it is slow but as for pain i think that varys person to person , i have no pain as of yet . my cancer is terminal but to be honest i feel as normal as every1 else , the chemo knocked the hell out of me but i have stopped that now and recovering from it . cancer is a weird 1 , people have different reactions to it , some people it hardly effects and the next person suffers till the they pass away . any1 wishing they had cancer needs to get theirs heads looked at as its not a joking matter and trust me u DONT want it , it fuks your head up wondering if ul wake up the next day with ur body organs shutting down or how long u have to go .

 

[Galahad]

Ironic since its breast cancer awareness month. There's been a lump in my chest for awhile but recently it's began growing and hurting this dull heavy ache, like its pressing on something. Even without touching it hurts. It's not visible on the outside either. I have to press to feel it, however it hurts more when doing that.

Realistically, the lump is probably a random cyst because I doubt someone as young as me could get cancer. I strangely wish it was though, then I wouldn't have to commit suicide. My body would die for me. The only downside is the long painful process.

I don't want to get the lump checked out because I'm already in debt. A simple screening would take everything I have. Even if it was just a cyst, I'd have to get surgery or something, which would absolutely drain my money.

I'll let it keep doing its thing. I'm so depressed that I'm actually wishing its cancer lol

Can't say anything other than I wish you'd get checked out. Cancer is an awful end to life, I've seen too many people go that way.

Of course I'm aware you're talking of the financial implications. I'm in the UK and for all the faults we can throw at the NHS it's ultimately there for us.

Please don't consider cancer to be a viable method though.

 

[WildecoyetE]

Can't say anything other than I wish you'd get checked out. Cancer is an awful end to life, I've seen too many people go that way.

Of course I'm aware you're talking of the financial implications. I'm in the UK and for all the faults we can throw at the NHS it's ultimately there for us.

Please don't consider cancer to be a viable method though.

some people think cancer is a quick way out , it is not a quick way out ! they should and visit a cancer clinic and see cancer victims , after a few hours they will soon CHANGE their views !

 

[thaelyana]

I understand what you mean, die differently, attention, the end of suffering

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Cancer is a terrible way to die but depending on where you live, once you're six months terminal can request MAID and end it before it gets that bad.

I'm in the same boat, sort of... I'm in the early stages of liver cirrhosis. I've completely stopped all communication with the hospital regarding bloodwork, scans and medication.
I'm still drinking in the hope it'll get to a point where it's totally irreversible.

My grandfather died of liver cirrhosis. He also refused to stop drinking.

 

[Cansado_Depressivo]

Ja vi pessoa com câncer morrer em 6 meses, mesmo fazendo tratamento. Assim como já vi pessoas que recusaram o tratamento e levaram anos para morrer. Tenho um familiar tratando câncer há 15 anos. Já está no terceiro câncer. Enfim, é complexo. Não desejo isso para ninguém.

 

[raslyakovva]

Ironic since its breast cancer awareness month. There's been a lump in my chest for awhile but recently it's began growing and hurting this dull heavy ache, like its pressing on something. Even without touching it hurts. It's not visible on the outside either. I have to press to feel it, however it hurts more when doing that.

Realistically, the lump is probably a random cyst because I doubt someone as young as me could get cancer. I strangely wish it was though, then I wouldn't have to commit suicide. My body would die for me. The only downside is the long painful process.

I don't want to get the lump checked out because I'm already in debt. A simple screening would take everything I have. Even if it was just a cyst, I'd have to get surgery or something, which would absolutely drain my money.

I'll let it keep doing its thing. I'm so depressed that I'm actually wishing its cancer lol

well, i totally relate.

i remember when i was 13 and i started smoking — trust me — just to get lung cancer. I guess it didnt work since im trying to stop smoking and decided to end it all myself, but it was a "good" plan

 

[Kitsune_BCN]

My bowels started to act strange 4 or 5 years, ago. I thought i had colonorectal cancer and i was like ompf yes

Turns out it was a shitty ulcerative colitis

 

[PI3.14]

Stage 4 cancer patients, or patients dealing with any kind of terminal illnesses, aren't eligible for euthanasia where I live, euthanasia is basically prohibited here.

That's why I don't wish to have it.