Venting I have never dated and will die alone

[Codename_Joryu]

I'm 21 years old this year and I've never gone on a date or had a girlfriend. I'm always told to just be patient and wait for the right person to come, that there's someone for everyone. But I'm just so tired of waiting all the time for something that will never even happen. Everything about me is just so wrong, nothing in me is worth loving. My looks, personality, the way I act, the way I think, the way I present myself. I'm just so rotten to the core and I'm unlovable in every way imaginable. I'm no one's favourite, never a priority, only a side character in everyone's life. Everyone says I'm a good person and I would make such a good boyfriend, but no one would ever give me a chance. I'm only able to watch other people being happy in a relationship while I drown in loneliness that's slowly killing me from the inside. I'm so desperate for love and affection but I never get it, it makes me feel like an absolute failure and the lowest form of life on earth. I only want the best for everyone around me, but for some reason I'm always shoved away because of that, and called an incel and a creep. I don't know how to fix myself, because no one is ever honest with me. People just tell me sweet lies that I will find someone, that it's not embarrasing at all to be a 20 year old virgin, instead of telling me the truth and saying just what makes me so fucking fundamentally unloveable in the first place. This is literal hell, a torture that I would never wish on anyone.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Same, but at 29. Don't worry, it doesnt get better ! Don't bother with all the 'self improovement'' stuff, the better a person you become, the worse it hurts to see that you're the only idiot who actually bothered doing any of it, and that you'd be objectively better off in every way shape or form if you were a proper sack of shit.

*wildly gestures at my junkie piece of shit step bro, my dad and his extreme anger issues, my morbidly obese mother, and the pedo my best friend's dating, as exemple as to why it's not worth bothering*

 

[whotookmylexapro]

Not telling you what to feel, but i feel like it's a good thing to be single while suicidal. I tried getting in a relationship but i just couldn't make it work with my suicidal ideation, no matter how much i liked them. Not to mention the pain you will cause them when you inevitably ctb, because a singlular person isn't gonna fix your suicidality. You gotta be careful whose life you get into because of all the emotional baggage you carry.