Venting I had to choose risk being disabled or ctb

[caramelpudding]

Hi! I'm new here. I'm on multiple psych meds. And I believe that doctors kinda misdiagnosed me but that's not case

I'm on antipsychotic and benzos daily for almost a year. It didn't work that well for me and when I told I got better he told me I could stop taking benzos (cold turkeyed) and then I had a terrible withdrawal

I had depersonalization, Insomnia, and many other symptoms that I have to reinstate. I went down the rabbit hole and found out that coming off these medications can potentially disabled you (akathisia, tardive dyskinesia etc.) and there's no cure if you develop it.

There's still a debate going back and forth between doctors and patients, that doctors don't believe that it can develop later on after quitting the med and yeah there's not much help from doctors in my area for what I've known.

I have to come off benzos again at the end of next month and if I start to develop those, I would need to ctb. There's no other way out for me.

 

[Natanael]

My mother went through a similar issue with some anxiety medications; she eventually managed to stop taking them. It was a year-long process, but it worked for her, and she's functioning relatively normally now.

But that's just my experience; she was taking Clonazepam (Klonopin).

 

[caramelpudding]

It's good to hear that your mother is doing great! I'm taking klonopin too I'm trying to get off them, it's like a russian roulette you won't know if it's going to be you or not, sadly i might be the unlucky one. But I'm really glad to hear that she managed to function well again!

 

[Natanael]

It's good to hear that your mother is doing great! I'm taking klonopin too I'm trying to get off them, it's like a russian roulette you won't know if it's going to be you or not, sadly i might be the unlucky one. But I'm really glad to hear that she managed to function well again!

What we did was reduce the dose very gradually; I'd describe it as landing a plane or something like that

Maybe you can do something similar. That said, whenever the dose was lowered, it was normal to experience side effects for 2 to 3 days. If the situation was too difficult, we would compensate by going back to the previous dose, but only for a short time

It was difficult, but it is possible to do it. Also, as I understand it, the doctor told her that she, too, experienced more severe side effects from the medication than others. That said, there were times when it was debilitating, but we managed to get through it

Maybe you can try doing the same thing. I'm no expert, but that's what I can share from that experience

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

I had akathisia from antipsychotic and they gave me a antiparkinson med to counter the effect, made me feel like shit.

I stopped the antipsychotic treatment and even though it took me a bit to "withdraw" from them, the akathisia went away completely once i stopped.

I didn't know it could potentially be permaneny or come back, that was fucking awful, especially for someone that is calm and don't fidget around.

Can you gradually stop the benzo instead of stopping cold turkey ?

 

[caramelpudding]

I had akathisia from antipsychotic and they gave me a antiparkinson med to counter the effect, made me feel like shit.

I stopped the antipsychotic treatment and even though it took me a bit to "withdraw" from them, the akathisia went away completely once i stopped.

I didn't know it could potentially be permaneny or come back, that was fucking awful, especially for someone that is calm and don't fidget around.

Can you gradually stop the benzo instead of stopping cold turkey ?

I didn't mean to scare you off I just had someone I know suffered from stopping the antipsychotic for like years so I just afraid that it might be me.

Yes I reinstated and now I'm slowly tapering off my benzos and hope that it wouldn't give me worse withdrawal like last time.

I'm on both antipsychotic and antiparkinson meds too!! I just fear that some day i might develop akathisia from stopping them since i don't think i really need them in the first place.

May I ask you about your akathesia if you don't mind? Like are you still on antipsychotic or did you quit them?

What we did was reduce the dose very gradually; I'd describe it as landing a plane or something like that

Maybe you can do something similar. That said, whenever the dose was lowered, it was normal to experience side effects for 2 to 3 days. If the situation was too difficult, we would compensate by going back to the previous dose, but only for a short time

It was difficult, but it is possible to do it. Also, as I understand it, the doctor told her that she, too, experienced more severe side effects from the medication than others. That said, there were times when it was debilitating, but we managed to get through it

Maybe you can try doing the same thing. I'm no expert, but that's what I can share from that experience

Thank you for your advice, I really
appreciate that!! I didn't know it at first that you need to gradually lower the dose since my doctor told me nothing about it and I have to find that out myself sadly. But now I can only hope that it wouldn't get worse. But really your mother story is giving me hope! Thank you again for sharing the story <33

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

I didn't mean to scare you off I just had someone I know suffered from stopping the antipsychotic for like years so I just afraid that it might be me.

Yes I reinstated and now I'm slowly tapering off my benzos and hope that it wouldn't give me worse withdrawal like last time.

I'm on both antipsychotic and antiparkinson meds too!! I just fear that some day i might develop akathisia from stopping them since i don't think i really need them in the first place.

May I ask you about your akathesia if you don't mind? Like are you still on antipsychotic or did you quit them?



Thank you for your advice, I really
appreciate that!! I didn't know it at first that you need to gradually lower the dose since my doctor told me nothing about it and I have to find that out myself sadly. But now I can only hope that it wouldn't get worse. But really your mother story is giving me hope! Thank you again for sharing the story <33

I stopped antipsychotics because i didn't want to deal with the side effects.

I'm not sure if the psych i saw misdiagnosed me or not but it definetely felt forced, and the meds they gave me didn't bring anything good for me.

The akathisia showed up at the beginning because i didn't have the parkinson meds to counter it, it felt like i had to run/jump/bounce all the time and in my case, it locked my neck/made it super tensed aswell.

Then when i stopped the meds cold turkey i had "withdrawal" effect and the akathisia came back worse than before but it only lasted 2 weeks, though i literally couldn't stay still/sit and wanted to crawl out of my body during that time.

But everyone is different, maybe i didn't tolerate them a lot, some people do well with them, not me though.

 

[volo]

FWIW, for other people reading this, someone on this forum said that there's a fb group that can help you taper off benzos.

 

[caramelpudding]

FWIW, for other people reading this, someone on this forum said that there's a fb group that can help you taper off benzos.

Yeah there's actually, I'm in that group and they said that there's no guarantees that you will develop something or not, some people said they are fine for like 4 months and then they develop severe symptoms. and even worse, antipsychotic are known for causing akathesia even when you quit them.

But I don't really plan on living with this kind of meds or my mental illness anyway, my life is already ruined and my suffering won't end.

thank you for your info tho, I appreciate it

 

[lumachina]

Hi! I'm new here. I'm on multiple psych meds. And I believe that doctors kinda misdiagnosed me but that's not case

I'm on antipsychotic and benzos daily for almost a year. It didn't work that well for me and when I told I got better he told me I could stop taking benzos (cold turkeyed) and then I had a terrible withdrawal

I had depersonalization, Insomnia, and many other symptoms that I have to reinstate. I went down the rabbit hole and found out that coming off these medications can potentially disabled you (akathisia, tardive dyskinesia etc.) and there's no cure if you develop it.

There's still a debate going back and forth between doctors and patients, that doctors don't believe that it can develop later on after quitting the med and yeah there's not much help from doctors in my area for what I've known.

I have to come off benzos again at the end of next month and if I start to develop those, I would need to ctb. There's no other way out for me.

Hi, I quit xanax cold turkey in 2023 after 4.5 years of use as prescribed and my doctor kept saying withdrawal didn't exist. I saw two more doctors who instead confirmed I had indeed gone through withdrawal.

I developed depression, insomnia, brain fog, then a nice window of no symptoms, then suddenly morning dread, akathisia and near total lack of sleep (1 hour a night for at least a week). Akathisia was fully reversed when I reinstated with a different benzo. The worst for me were the looping thoughts of guilt that won me an antipsychotic as an emergency measure. I don't know where you looked, but akathisia can be reversed or at least lessened. Now I'm tapering that other benzo and I have to take an antipsychotic for my crippling, obsessive guilt once again.

Benzo withdrawal takes your weakness, whatever it is, and amps it up until it's unbearable. But what I went through isn't necessarily what will happen to others. I suggest you take a look at the Ashton manual, at the benzoinfo website and at the benzobuddies forum. Just a heads up, suicide discussion is banned there.

 

[BrokenByTheSystem]

How much is your dosage? I'm 6 years on 0.5mg Clonazepam daily.

 

[caramelpudding]

Hi, I quit xanax cold turkey in 2023 after 4.5 years of use as prescribed and my doctor kept saying withdrawal didn't exist. I saw two more doctors who instead confirmed I had indeed gone through withdrawal.

I developed depression, insomnia, brain fog, then a nice window of no symptoms, then suddenly morning dread, akathisia and near total lack of sleep (1 hour a night for at least a week). Akathisia was fully reversed when I reinstated with a different benzo. The worst for me were the looping thoughts of guilt that won me an antipsychotic as an emergency measure. I don't know where you looked, but akathisia can be reversed or at least lessened. Now I'm tapering that other benzo and I have to take an antipsychotic for my crippling, obsessive guilt once again.

Benzo withdrawal takes your weakness, whatever it is, and amps it up until it's unbearable. But what I went through isn't necessarily what will happen to others. I suggest you take a look at the Ashton manual, at the benzoinfo website and at the benzobuddies forum. Just a heads up, suicide discussion is banned there.

thank you for sharing your story, you've must been through alot. And I hope that your symptoms and your situation will get better. I've heard that akathisia is almost unbearable that there're some people that ctb because of that. You're really strong. Wishing you a lot of windows.

I've had a terrible withdrawal from ct and had to reinstate like you and now I'm tapering too. I've heard some people said that reinstating won't save you forever there would be time when you're tolerance to the benzos and you would have to endure all of it with no help.

I've been in groups and I've read the manual too. Some people said that this won't guarantee a successful story either but it is still better than rapid or ct. And there's surprisingly alot of people that still can't function even they're slowly tapered and come off for like 4 years from what I've read. I really hope they would get better and their symptoms would be eased.

My situation won't let me heal or take a break sadly. I have to be functional all the time to work and study. Being serious ill with current mental health will be the death of me.

How much is your dosage? I'm 6 years on 0.5mg Clonazepam daily.

I'm 4 months on 1 mg Lorazepam. 2 months on 1 mg Clonazepam got CT and reinstated with 0.5 for 3 months

 

[lumachina]

thank you for sharing your story, you've must been through alot. And I hope that your symptoms and your situation will get better. I've heard that akathisia is almost unbearable that there're some people that ctb because of that. You're really strong. Wishing you a lot of windows.

Thank you so much, I'm currently in tolerance and dealing with disabling depression. During the peak of my akathisia I kept attempting because it felt like there was no other way out, so I understand your fears. Not everyone will develop it. If you haven't yet, I think you won't. Keep fighting.

 

[highoffzaza]

I'm really sorry you're going thru this. My first psychiatrist prescribed me the same Benzo. He told me to take it every day. I would take xans left and right in hs so knowing how I feel on a Benzo, I really didn't want to be taking one daily. I thought it was weird he prescribed it to be taken daily as ik they are addictive but I was thinking maybe they were different than xans, so anyway, I only took them when my panic attacks got bad. I told my dr i was taking them like he told me to bc it's not like I wanted them to take away the medication as it does help for my panic attacks buuutt when I changed Drs bc of the convenience. I was telling her what I was prescribed and the daily intake. She was flabbergasted when I told her I was prescribed to take it every day even if I don't have a panic attack and tells me about how horrible the withdrawals are and was immediately trying to see how to prescribe it to me that will help me wean off it without the withdrawals hitting too hard (has anybody tried this?) i was jaw dropped hearing about the withdrawals and was like thinking, what if I didn't listen to myself and took them every day? bc I would've been trusting the Dr's decision. I came clean to her anyways talking about how much I relied on xans to be "normal" in hs so I was hesitant about taking it daily so only took them when needed. She was relieved. Later, I found out my aunt is on the same medication. The same thing happened. She was told to take it daily but for sleep. She is hooked on them and can't go a day without them or she'll go ape shit. And this has happened to a lot of ppl the more i look the more i find. Idk why Drs are prescribing this for daily intake. Anything more than taking it when you desperately need it when you get hooked fairly quickly and the withdrawals are that bad is honestly insane. And I'm sorry to anybody who is on it going thru it i truly have no words it's must be hell but I hope you guys can safely get off or find a way to manage it somehow <3

 

[caramelpudding]

I'm really sorry you're going thru this. My first psychiatrist prescribed me the same Benzo. He told me to take it every day. I would take xans left and right in hs so knowing how I feel on a Benzo, I really didn't want to be taking one daily. I thought it was weird he prescribed it to be taken daily as ik they are addictive but I was thinking maybe they were different than xans, so anyway, I only took them when my panic attacks got bad. I told my dr i was taking them like he told me to bc it's not like I wanted them to take away the medication as it does help for my panic attacks buuutt when I changed Drs bc of the convenience. I was telling her what I was prescribed and the daily intake. She was flabbergasted when I told her I was prescribed to take it every day even if I don't have a panic attack and tells me about how horrible the withdrawals are and was immediately trying to see how to prescribe it to me that will help me wean off it without the withdrawals hitting too hard (has anybody tried this?) i was jaw dropped hearing about the withdrawals and was like thinking, what if I didn't listen to myself and took them every day? bc I would've been trusting the Dr's decision. I came clean to her anyways talking about how much I relied on xans to be "normal" in hs so I was hesitant about taking it daily so only took them when needed. She was relieved. Later, I found out my aunt is on the same medication. The same thing happened. She was told to take it daily but for sleep. She is hooked on them and can't go a day without them or she'll go ape shit. And this has happened to a lot of ppl the more i look the more i find. Idk why Drs are prescribing this for daily intake. Anything more than taking it when you desperately need it when you get hooked fairly quickly and the withdrawals are that bad is honestly insane. And I'm sorry to anybody who is on it going thru it i truly have no words it's must be hell but I hope you guys can safely get off or find a way to manage it somehow <3

I don't know if saying you're lucky would be appropriate but I'm really glad that you trust you guts and didn't take these daily and you're really lucky that your doctor know about how bad these medications are. My doctor keep denying the withdrawal and won't acknowledge them even they're the one who prescribed me this

I can only hope that the withdrawal won't be severe and I won't develop a protracted withdrawal.

I hope your aunt won't have to go through the same thing as I or many people have to but if she needs to get off there's a book mention in this thread (the Ashton manual) and fb support group that can help and your Dr is really understanding.

I hope the best for you and your aunt too!!

 

[BPDTalk]

I don't know why the side effects of psychiatric medications are so terrible for some people. I need as much information as possible, as some of it is relevant to me.

 

[caramelpudding]

I don't know why the side effects of psychiatric medications are so terrible for some people. I need as much information as possible, as some of it is relevant to me.

I don't want to fear monger you about the meds, if it works for you and you need to stay on the meds you should. In my case the meds didn't work well for me and I think i was kind of misdiagnosed too.

The problem with me is that I was on daily long term use and my doctor abruptly stop benzos without a proper tapering and I started developed withdrawal symptoms and benzos can make you develop dependence very quickly. Not all people will experience this but most of them do and some can develop severe symptoms.

For antipsychotic it's known that it can causes akathisia some develop tardive dyskinesia from long term use but again not everyone will experience it, I don't know if it's rare or not but many people experience this, If you do immediately contact your doctor to lower the dose or change the meds.
But I think most doctors do aware that antipsychotics can cause this, they prescribe me antiparkinson meds along with risperidone.

I don't know much about mood stabilizer but I'm on it, some people said the withdrawal is bad and need to be tapered slowly too.

If you're curious you can search on tt or yt or on fb support groups
but it can be triggering so do it at your own risk (it makes me spiral)

I talk from my own experience so take this with a grain of salt. Everyone is different.
And I hope you won't have to experience any of this, if the meds are working for you then it's great but you should know the risks they're carrying too