Venting I genuinely hate everything about my life.

[slitribz]

I genuinely hate everything about my life. There's nothing that can make me happy anymore. My girlfriend likes her friends more than me, and I always have to be the one to start a conversation. My mom manipulates me and makes me feel bad about myself until I run a razor blade over my thigh too many times to count. My dad raped me when he thought i was sleeping at age 8, and my sister hates me. None of my friends care about me at all. I would actively try to find methods to kill myself, and nobody would reach out. Nobody cares about me. Nobody wants me around. I can't even find any methods to kill myself effectively that don't involve asphyxia or a gun to my temple. I have a deep fear of asphyxia, and I have no intention of buying a gun. I feel like I'm just trapped in my own personal hell. I wish my mom had died with me during birth like she was supposed to. I want to be nothing.

 

[BlockedintheUK]

That really sucks sounds like you have toxic shit people in your life DM me if you want.

 

[ellisdisappeared]

I genuinely hate everything about my life. There's nothing that can make me happy anymore. My girlfriend likes her friends more than me, and I always have to be the one to start a conversation. My mom manipulates me and makes me feel bad about myself until I run a razor blade over my thigh too many times to count. My dad raped me when he thought i was sleeping at age 8, and my sister hates me. None of my friends care about me at all. I would actively try to find methods to kill myself, and nobody would reach out. Nobody cares about me. Nobody wants me around. I can't even find any methods to kill myself effectively that don't involve asphyxia or a gun to my temple. I have a deep fear of asphyxia, and I have no intention of buying a gun. I feel like I'm just trapped in my own personal hell. I wish my mom had died with me during birth like she was supposed to. I want to be nothing.

This situation seems like being trapped in a long loop. I'm sorry that you're being treated this way. I hope that you're able to find peace soon

 

[PI3.14]

Sorry you went through all of this, your dad should be sent to jail.

 

[Deer_Dairy]

Life fucked up from very beginning... I am deeply sorry for you and what happened.
I guess there are two ways. Get rid of that toxic people around you and show yourself that you can live a happy life.
Or just quit.
Both options are really hard. It's up to you to decide.