Venting I feel so different from everyone else

[KillingPain267]

I hate going outside, even to shop for groceries. I feel so different from everyone else and they look at me with disgust. At least that is how I perceive it. I get depressed and even more determined to ctb after being outside with people for just 2 hours. When I stay inside in my bed whole day and see people in movies and videos I don't feel fear or hate towards them, so it's not people per se that I dislike being around. So it's just people's reaction to ME that makes me want to avoid them.